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[Music]
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My name is Happy Gilmore.
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Ever since I was old enough to skate,
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I loved hockey.
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Wasn't really the greatest skater, though.
6
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But that didn't stop my dad
from teaching me the secret
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of smacking the greatest slap shot.
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My dad worshipped hockey.
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My mom didn't.
10
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That's why she moved to Egypt,
where there's not a hockey rink
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within 1,500 miles.
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Dad always took me to games to cheer
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for our favorite player, Terry O'Reilly,
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"The Tasmanian Devil."
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He wasn't the biggest guy in the league,
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but he feared nobody, just like me.
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Handsome fellow, huh?
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He always said that when I grew up
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I could be anything I wanted to be.
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But I never wanted to be
anything but a hockey player.
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Yeah, my childhood was going great.
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But life is full of surprises.
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[Glass breaks] [scream]
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After the funeral, I was sent to live
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with my grandma in Waterbury.
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I was kind of nervous since I really
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didn't know her that well.
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But she dressed like Gene
Simmons from KISS
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to cheer me up.
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She's the sweetest person in the world.
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See, after my dad died, I developed
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kind of a short fuse.
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That kid right there just
stole my party blower
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and instead of asking for it back,
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I felt I had to belt him
in the head a bunch of times
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with a hammer. Look at me go.
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But most of the time I was
quick to say I was sorry.
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During high school I played junior hockey
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and still hold two league records,
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most time spent in a penalty box
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and I was the only guy
to ever take off his skate
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and try to stab somebody.
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After I graduated,
I had a lot of different jobs.
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I was a road worker...
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a janitor...
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a security guard...
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a gas station attendant...
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and a plumber.
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Lately I've been working construction.
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It's not a bad racket.
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I'm a pretty good shot with a nail gun.
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But one day my boss, Mr. Larson,
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got in the way.
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Apparently he also has a short fuse.
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Look at that monster.
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He got a few lucky punches in there.
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But I still feel I won the fight.
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Anyways, those jobs weren't for me.
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I was put on this planet for one reason.
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To play hockey.
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That's my puck, baby!
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Don't you ever touch my puck!
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Number 18, is that Gilmore again?
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How many times has this
guy tried out anyway?
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At least ten times.
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The guy's got a lot of intensity.
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[Grunts]
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Not a real strong skater, though.
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Ain't the best puck handler either.
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Player: Man, which side are you playing for?
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[Players chatter]
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Coach: Yeah, but, my God...
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What a shot.
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Damn it, is that goal regulation size or what?
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Jeez!
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Number 1, number 52, number 16.
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They saw my power, man,
ain't no way they going
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to dog me this year.
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Number 9...
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and number 43.
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The rest of you, if your number wasn't called,
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better luck next year.
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Oh, hey, coach, what's going on here, man?
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What about me?
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Gilmore.
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Gilmore. I called your number, didn't I?
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No, no, no, no you didn't.
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Oh.
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Well, better luck next year.
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Now, that wasn't very nice.
- What are you doing?
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[Grunting]
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You think you're better than me?!
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Hey, where you going? I got us Subway.
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I already ate.
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Ah, well, I went to high school
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with a guy that works there,
so we got extra meatballs.
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Great, I got to run. See you later.
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Hey, can you just stick around?
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I kind of had a rough day.
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Bye.
- When are you getting back?
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Never.
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Terry, wait!
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Wait! Hold on a second, babe.
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Yeah?
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You're not going for good, are you, honey?
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You're going nowhere, Happy,
and you're taking me with you.
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All you ever talk about is
being a pro hockey player,
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but there's a problem. You're not any good.
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I am good. You know what?
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You're a lousy kindergarten teacher.
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I seen those finger paintings
you bring home and they suck!
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I'm sorry, babe, I didn't mean that.
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I think they're excellent finger paintings.
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Please, don't go.
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I am not spending
the rest of my life with a loser.
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I'm gone.
- Good.
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Then get the hell out of my life.
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Who needs you? Beat it, leave me alone!
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I'm sorry, babe, I didn't mean that either.
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I just yell sometimes because I get so scared.
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Scared of being a nobody.
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Why don't you just come
back upstairs, honey?
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I'll give you the old smoochie smoo,
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kissy wissy, hmm?
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You know Happy's going
to make everything okay.
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[Moans]
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[moans]
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♫ I want to kiss you all over ♫
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♫ And over and again ♫
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♫ I want to kiss you all over ♫
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♫ Till the night closes in,
till the night closes in ♫
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Terry!
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[Music] ♪ Till the night closes in
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[phone rings]
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Yeah?
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Huh?
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All right, sit tight, I'll be right over.
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Hey, you no want breakfast?
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[Door closes]
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[tires screech]
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Grandma?
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Grandma?
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Hey, put that stuff down.
That's my grandmother's.
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Cut it out, kid. We're just doing our jobs.
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What are you talking about?
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Your grandmother hasn't
paid her taxes in over a decade.
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What?
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Grandma, you didn't pay your taxes?
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I would have, but I didn't have any money.
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Where you taking all her stuff?
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I'm not taking her stuff, okay?
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The government is.
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It's not like I'm taking her stuff
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over to my place or
something like that, all right?
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So don't get mad at me.
156
00:08:12,523 --> 00:08:17,127
But she's an old lady.
I mean, look at her. She's old.
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You can't just take her stuff. She's too old.
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I'm sorry. I have no discretion here.
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Her stuff is now our stuff.
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Well, at least we got the house, right?
161
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I mean, I can bring furniture
from my place over here.
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We're going to be okay, Grandma.
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Now you're really going to be mad.
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I have to take the house, too.
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No, look, pal,
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my grandfather built this
house with his bare hands.
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My grandma's been here over 60 years.
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You can't take her house.
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Mrs. Gilmore owes the IRS...
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$270,000 in back taxes.
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Oh, my God.
- We have to take the house.
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And if you can't get
the money together in 90 days,
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we're going to have to sell
the house to someone else.
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You hate me, don't you?
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No, no. No. I don't hate you.
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Ah!
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[Grunts]
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He hates me.
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Don't worry, Grandma, everything's going
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to be all right.
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Hey, look at this place.
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Silver Acres Rest Home.
183
00:09:17,988 --> 00:09:19,757
Hell, it looks more like a country club
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00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:21,125
than a nursing home.
185
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Nice grass, nice people.
186
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And I hope you brought your bathing suit.
187
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Oh, Happy.
188
00:09:26,030 --> 00:09:27,464
I'm telling you, this place is perfect.
189
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You're going to make friends in no time.
190
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Mister!
191
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Get me out of here!
192
00:09:34,004 --> 00:09:38,475
Here, just eat that. Leave us alone!
193
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Grandma, you don't got to do this, you know.
194
00:09:40,944 --> 00:09:42,046
You can come live with me.
195
00:09:42,079 --> 00:09:44,515
Nonsense, dear, you're a grown man.
196
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I wouldn't burden you like that.
197
00:09:46,850 --> 00:09:48,218
And that's final.
198
00:09:48,252 --> 00:09:51,789
You tell me, how is that
nice girlfriend of yours?
199
00:09:51,822 --> 00:09:54,258
Oh, she got hit by a car. She's dead.
200
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Oh.
- Look, I'm telling you,
201
00:09:55,392 --> 00:09:57,094
I am going to get that $270,000
202
00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:58,395
and we're going to get your house back.
203
00:09:58,429 --> 00:10:01,365
That is a promise.
- Oh, sure.
204
00:10:01,398 --> 00:10:03,834
In the meantime, just stay here
205
00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:05,803
and have some fun.
206
00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:08,539
I will, dear. Don't worry.
207
00:10:08,572 --> 00:10:12,443
Oh, pardon me, but it's nap time.
208
00:10:12,476 --> 00:10:14,511
All right, a nap, that sounds nice.
209
00:10:14,545 --> 00:10:18,248
You go.
- I love you.
210
00:10:18,282 --> 00:10:20,517
I love you, too, darling.
- Okay, bye.
211
00:10:20,551 --> 00:10:22,319
Goodbye.
212
00:10:22,352 --> 00:10:24,254
Hey, buddy.
213
00:10:24,288 --> 00:10:26,824
I want you to do me a favor.
You see that lady?
214
00:10:26,857 --> 00:10:28,525
She's very important to me, okay?
215
00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:30,861
Okay.
- So I want you to take
216
00:10:30,894 --> 00:10:32,996
extra special care of her.
217
00:10:33,030 --> 00:10:34,498
You know what I'm talking about here?
218
00:10:34,531 --> 00:10:36,400
I can't except that.
219
00:10:36,433 --> 00:10:38,001
But I'll tell you what I can do.
220
00:10:38,035 --> 00:10:40,204
I can take extra special
care of that young lady
221
00:10:40,237 --> 00:10:42,172
over there for nothing.
222
00:10:43,907 --> 00:10:46,577
Okay. I appreciate that.
223
00:10:46,610 --> 00:10:48,912
Have a nice afternoon.
224
00:10:48,946 --> 00:10:52,282
Sir, could I trouble you
for a glass of warm milk?
225
00:10:52,316 --> 00:10:53,550
It helps put me to sleep.
226
00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:55,586
You could trouble me for a warm glass
227
00:10:55,619 --> 00:10:57,287
of shut the hell up.
228
00:10:59,056 --> 00:11:01,992
Now, you will go to sleep
or I will put you to sleep.
229
00:11:02,025 --> 00:11:05,262
Check out the name tag.
You're in my world now, grandma.
230
00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:07,297
Oh, dear.
231
00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:12,469
Hey, bet you I can hit a ball past that tree.
232
00:11:12,503 --> 00:11:14,171
20 bucks says you can't.
233
00:11:14,204 --> 00:11:15,572
Hey, morons.
234
00:11:15,606 --> 00:11:17,441
I told you I want to watch the hockey game.
235
00:11:17,474 --> 00:11:20,978
Now, cut the golf sissy
crap and finish up in there.
236
00:11:21,011 --> 00:11:22,913
Relax. Think of it as a way to enjoy
237
00:11:22,946 --> 00:11:26,183
your grandma's possessions
for another half hour.
238
00:11:28,619 --> 00:11:31,355
Oh, my God, you got ahold of that one.
239
00:11:31,388 --> 00:11:32,890
I'd like to see you try it.
240
00:11:32,923 --> 00:11:34,324
Yeah, it's not as easy as it looks.
241
00:11:34,358 --> 00:11:36,260
Sorry, ladies, I'm not the golfing type.
242
00:11:36,293 --> 00:11:39,463
Well, I'll tell you what,
you hit a ball past my ball,
243
00:11:39,496 --> 00:11:40,397
and we'll go straight back to work
244
00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:43,066
so you can watch
your precious hockey game.
245
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,235
Give me the stupid club.
246
00:11:51,375 --> 00:11:53,110
Look at this stupid thing.
247
00:11:53,143 --> 00:11:55,012
This is going to be hilarious.
248
00:11:55,045 --> 00:11:57,414
Look how he's standing.
249
00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:58,982
You like that?
250
00:12:12,396 --> 00:12:13,363
[Glass shattering]
251
00:12:13,397 --> 00:12:14,631
Holy shit!
252
00:12:14,665 --> 00:12:15,966
Go back to work.
253
00:12:15,999 --> 00:12:18,035
That house is, like, 400 yards away.
254
00:12:18,068 --> 00:12:20,537
Is that good?
- That's unbelievable.
255
00:12:20,571 --> 00:12:21,972
Beginner's luck.
256
00:12:22,005 --> 00:12:24,541
20 bucks says you can't do it again.
257
00:12:24,575 --> 00:12:25,976
Bring it on.
258
00:12:39,223 --> 00:12:41,225
You boys are going to pay for that!
259
00:12:41,258 --> 00:12:43,994
Ow!
260
00:12:44,027 --> 00:12:44,895
You hit that guy.
261
00:12:44,928 --> 00:12:46,530
He shouldn't have been standing there.
262
00:12:46,563 --> 00:12:49,433
One more time. Double or nothing.
263
00:12:49,466 --> 00:12:50,968
You better pay up.
264
00:12:58,242 --> 00:12:59,376
Oh!
265
00:13:00,711 --> 00:13:02,179
Oops.
266
00:13:02,212 --> 00:13:04,548
All right, maybe we should get back inside.
267
00:13:04,581 --> 00:13:07,217
Hey, you made a bet. Pay the man.
268
00:13:23,066 --> 00:13:25,168
Happy: All right.
269
00:13:25,202 --> 00:13:27,170
Thanks, man. Tell your friends.
270
00:13:27,204 --> 00:13:28,672
Step right up, folks.
- He's good.
271
00:13:28,705 --> 00:13:31,174
See if you can outdrive the amazing
272
00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:34,511
golf ball whacker guy.
273
00:13:37,547 --> 00:13:39,616
That's great.
274
00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:42,052
Very good.
275
00:13:42,085 --> 00:13:43,287
Bend those knees.
276
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,022
Remember, now, it's all in the hips.
277
00:13:45,055 --> 00:13:47,491
You're doing great. It's all in the hips.
278
00:13:47,524 --> 00:13:49,626
Happy: All right, 50 bucks,
I can hit over the highway.
279
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:52,496
Any takers? [Crowd chatter]
280
00:13:59,703 --> 00:14:01,371
That's real good.
281
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:06,143
So long, sucker.
282
00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:10,147
[Laughter]
283
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:12,249
You're like a freak. How often do you play?
284
00:14:12,282 --> 00:14:15,185
Never. This is my first time.
285
00:14:15,218 --> 00:14:17,120
Hey, you should play
in the Waterbury Open tomorrow.
286
00:14:17,154 --> 00:14:18,522
Yeah.
- Yeah, all right.
287
00:14:18,555 --> 00:14:20,490
I'll see you guys there.
288
00:14:24,394 --> 00:14:26,530
He's gonna play.
289
00:14:26,563 --> 00:14:29,066
And by God, he's gonna win.
290
00:14:39,409 --> 00:14:41,178
Hey, mister, you got to wear a helmet.
291
00:14:41,211 --> 00:14:42,546
Don't worry about it.
292
00:14:49,152 --> 00:14:52,122
Oh, yeah, yeah. Bring that shit on, man.
293
00:14:52,155 --> 00:14:53,623
Oh, God, I love it.
294
00:14:53,657 --> 00:14:55,392
Awesome!
295
00:14:55,425 --> 00:14:57,260
Oh, God, that hurt a little bit.
296
00:14:57,294 --> 00:14:58,662
I'm all right.
- My God, son.
297
00:14:58,695 --> 00:14:59,730
What the hell are you doing?
298
00:14:59,763 --> 00:15:02,299
364 more days
till next year's hockey try outs.
299
00:15:02,332 --> 00:15:04,434
I got to toughen up. Yeah!
300
00:15:05,435 --> 00:15:07,537
Oh, God, that felt good. Yeah!
301
00:15:07,571 --> 00:15:10,807
Come on, boy, cut that out.
You're making me sick.
302
00:15:10,841 --> 00:15:12,409
Hey!
303
00:15:12,442 --> 00:15:13,777
So you're a hockey player, huh?
304
00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:14,644
Yeah.
305
00:15:14,678 --> 00:15:16,313
You're going to give that shit up.
306
00:15:16,346 --> 00:15:17,347
You're going to concentrate on golf.
307
00:15:17,381 --> 00:15:20,517
Who the hell are you?
- I'm the club pro here.
308
00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:21,752
Chubbs Peterson.
309
00:15:21,785 --> 00:15:25,489
And I'm offering to teach you
how to play golf personally.
310
00:15:25,522 --> 00:15:26,490
For free.
311
00:15:26,523 --> 00:15:27,791
No.
312
00:15:27,824 --> 00:15:29,726
You have no idea who I am, do you?
313
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,428
No, I don't.
314
00:15:31,461 --> 00:15:34,564
Back in 1965 Sports Illustrated
315
00:15:34,598 --> 00:15:37,768
said I was going to be
the next Arnold Palmer.
316
00:15:37,801 --> 00:15:38,869
Yeah, what happened?
317
00:15:38,902 --> 00:15:41,438
They wouldn't let me play
on the pro tour anymore.
318
00:15:41,471 --> 00:15:44,141
Oh, I'm sorry. Because you're black?
319
00:15:44,174 --> 00:15:47,577
Hell no. Damn alligator bit my hand off.
320
00:15:47,611 --> 00:15:49,179
Oh, my God!
- Yeah.
321
00:15:49,212 --> 00:15:50,147
Tournament down in Florida.
322
00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:52,382
I hooked my ball in a rough down by the lake.
323
00:15:52,416 --> 00:15:54,351
Damned alligator just popped up.
324
00:15:54,384 --> 00:15:57,454
Cut me down in my prime. He got me.
325
00:15:57,487 --> 00:15:59,856
But I tore one of that
bastard's eyes out, though.
326
00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:02,292
Look at that. [Laughs]
327
00:16:02,325 --> 00:16:03,760
You're pretty sick, Chubbs.
328
00:16:03,794 --> 00:16:06,329
I have never seen anyone
who could hit that ball
329
00:16:06,363 --> 00:16:08,331
half as far as you can.
330
00:16:08,365 --> 00:16:09,533
You got real talent, kid.
331
00:16:09,566 --> 00:16:12,502
Well, that's nice of you to say,
but I've been training
332
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:14,337
to be a hockey player my whole life.
333
00:16:14,371 --> 00:16:16,239
Golf's no different from hockey.
334
00:16:16,273 --> 00:16:18,375
Requires talent, self-discipline.
335
00:16:18,408 --> 00:16:20,744
Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass.
336
00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:22,479
You should talk
to my neighbor, the accountant.
337
00:16:22,512 --> 00:16:24,181
Probably a great golfer. Huge ass.
338
00:16:24,214 --> 00:16:25,749
Hey, I bet your neighbor, the accountant,
339
00:16:25,782 --> 00:16:28,351
can't drive the ball 400 yards.
340
00:16:28,385 --> 00:16:29,886
Bet your neighbor, the accountant,
341
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:33,723
doesn't have a shot to get on the pro tour.
342
00:16:33,757 --> 00:16:34,791
How would I do that?
343
00:16:34,825 --> 00:16:37,394
You win the open tomorrow,
you're automatically
344
00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:39,629
on the pro tour. Then who knows?
345
00:16:39,663 --> 00:16:42,299
Maybe you'll win the tour
championship one day.
346
00:16:42,332 --> 00:16:44,201
Get that gold jacket like I never got.
347
00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:47,537
Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a shit?
348
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:48,538
Yeah.
349
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:49,506
Ho!
- Oh!
350
00:16:52,209 --> 00:16:53,510
Don't worry about that.
351
00:16:53,543 --> 00:16:55,545
Made of wood. It's real sturdy.
352
00:17:00,817 --> 00:17:03,453
Oh, boy. Sorry about that.
353
00:17:03,487 --> 00:17:04,888
Look, it was good to meet you.
354
00:17:04,921 --> 00:17:07,791
But, yeah.
355
00:17:07,824 --> 00:17:09,593
So, all right, I'm out of here.
356
00:17:09,626 --> 00:17:12,229
You know, this is not real smart, kid.
357
00:17:12,262 --> 00:17:13,830
I thought you were pro material.
358
00:17:13,864 --> 00:17:15,665
Trying to make the big bucks.
359
00:17:23,006 --> 00:17:26,476
Hey, Chubbs, what kind of big bucks?
360
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:36,620
Stupid golf clubs.
Why the hell am I doing this?
361
00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:43,360
Whoa, must be Burt Reynolds or something.
362
00:17:46,329 --> 00:17:47,831
Good morning.
363
00:17:47,864 --> 00:17:49,566
Son, isn't this great?
364
00:17:49,599 --> 00:17:52,402
Blue skies, fresh cut grass, birds chirping?
365
00:17:52,435 --> 00:17:54,838
You going to recite me a poem? Easy.
366
00:17:54,871 --> 00:17:56,606
Jeez, you love this golf stuff, huh?
367
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:57,607
Oh, yeah.
368
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,576
Figure a guy your size, why didn't you play
369
00:17:59,609 --> 00:18:00,610
a normal sport like football?
370
00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:02,712
Well, my mama wouldn't
sign the permission slip.
371
00:18:02,746 --> 00:18:04,447
Thought it might be a little too dangerous.
372
00:18:04,481 --> 00:18:06,950
Oh, yeah, good call.
373
00:18:06,983 --> 00:18:08,718
Hey, who's that?
374
00:18:08,752 --> 00:18:11,388
Oh, the shorter guy
on the right, Doug Thompson.
375
00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:12,989
He's the president of the tour.
376
00:18:13,023 --> 00:18:15,792
The other guy, Shooter McGavin,
377
00:18:15,825 --> 00:18:17,360
leading money winner this year.
378
00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:18,495
Hey, who's the girl?
379
00:18:18,528 --> 00:18:21,898
Hi, I'm Virginia Venit,
Director of Public Relations
380
00:18:21,932 --> 00:18:22,799
for the tour.
381
00:18:22,832 --> 00:18:23,900
Of course, I've heard you've done some
382
00:18:23,934 --> 00:18:27,871
really interesting things
here in public relations.
383
00:18:27,904 --> 00:18:29,439
Really? Because I'm working
384
00:18:29,472 --> 00:18:31,274
on a cross promotional
thing right now with some--
385
00:18:31,308 --> 00:18:32,742
Jeez, you know what would be great?
386
00:18:32,776 --> 00:18:34,844
If I could get a Pepsi.
387
00:18:34,878 --> 00:18:37,747
Sure.
388
00:18:37,781 --> 00:18:39,883
Oh, miss?
- Yeah?
389
00:18:39,916 --> 00:18:41,685
Diet.
390
00:18:41,718 --> 00:18:42,619
Right.
391
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:47,324
By the way, thanks for dressing up.
392
00:18:47,357 --> 00:18:49,426
Hey, if I saw myself in clothes like those,
393
00:18:49,459 --> 00:18:50,694
I'd have to kick my own ass.
394
00:18:50,727 --> 00:18:53,663
Good morning, everyone, and
welcome to the Waterbury Open.
395
00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:56,633
Now, before we tee off, I have a very special
396
00:18:56,666 --> 00:18:57,500
treat for you.
397
00:18:57,534 --> 00:19:00,737
Ladies and gentlemen, Shooter McGavin.
398
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:03,640
[Crowd applauds]
399
00:19:03,673 --> 00:19:06,376
Thank you.
400
00:19:06,409 --> 00:19:07,644
Thank you, Doug.
401
00:19:07,677 --> 00:19:08,678
You know, I saw Doug play yesterday
402
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:11,014
and I got to tell you,
this guy spends more time
403
00:19:11,047 --> 00:19:12,949
in the sand than David Hasselhoff.
404
00:19:12,983 --> 00:19:13,750
[Crowd laughs]
405
00:19:13,783 --> 00:19:15,785
Let me get a little serious on you.
406
00:19:15,819 --> 00:19:17,554
Now, you're all aware that today's big winner
407
00:19:17,587 --> 00:19:18,788
will be invited to join the pro tour
408
00:19:18,822 --> 00:19:22,392
and I just want you to know
that although only one of you
409
00:19:22,425 --> 00:19:26,363
gets to be my colleague,
all of you are now my friends.
410
00:19:29,833 --> 00:19:32,469
Thank you. Now, go get 'em.
411
00:19:34,371 --> 00:19:38,942
Next up, Lafferty, Daniel and Gilmore...
412
00:19:38,975 --> 00:19:40,477
Happy.
413
00:19:42,445 --> 00:19:46,549
Hey, where you going
with those clubs, punk?
414
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:49,819
Mr. Gilmore, I'm your caddy.
- Oh, I'm sorry about that.
415
00:19:49,853 --> 00:19:51,588
No, no, no. Let me carry these, all right?
416
00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:53,490
They're my grandfathers. They're pretty old.
417
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:56,693
Well, what should I do then?
418
00:19:56,726 --> 00:19:57,661
I don't know.
419
00:19:57,694 --> 00:19:59,696
Why don't you just watch me and make sure
420
00:19:59,729 --> 00:20:01,831
I don't do anything stupid, okay?
421
00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:07,437
Mr. Gilmore, Mr. Lafferty
will be teeing off now.
422
00:20:07,470 --> 00:20:11,374
All right, good luck, buddy.
423
00:20:11,408 --> 00:20:12,776
Get out of the way.
424
00:20:21,184 --> 00:20:23,453
Where were you on that one, dipshit?
425
00:20:29,492 --> 00:20:30,460
[Crowd oohs]
426
00:20:30,493 --> 00:20:33,863
[crowd chatters]
427
00:20:33,897 --> 00:20:35,532
[applause]
428
00:20:35,565 --> 00:20:36,633
Spectator: Very nice.
429
00:20:36,666 --> 00:20:39,035
Probably the only good
one I'll hit all day, huh?
430
00:20:39,069 --> 00:20:41,671
Yeah.
- Mr. Gilmore, you're up.
431
00:20:41,705 --> 00:20:43,406
All right.
432
00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:03,860
[Crowd laughs]
433
00:21:03,893 --> 00:21:04,828
Damn it.
434
00:21:07,063 --> 00:21:08,765
Time.
435
00:21:08,798 --> 00:21:10,567
Relax. Do what we talked about, huh?
436
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,169
Don't even look at the green.
Make contact with the ball.
437
00:21:13,203 --> 00:21:14,504
There's no goalie out there to block it.
438
00:21:14,537 --> 00:21:17,841
Remember, it's all in the hips.
Hey, hey, it's all in, come on.
439
00:21:17,874 --> 00:21:21,911
Work with me now. It's all in the hips. Yeah.
440
00:21:21,945 --> 00:21:25,982
It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips.
441
00:21:26,015 --> 00:21:27,183
Get off of me.
442
00:21:27,217 --> 00:21:29,652
Hey, just easing the tension, baby.
443
00:21:29,686 --> 00:21:32,889
Just easing the tension.
- Well, ease it on someone else.
444
00:21:40,930 --> 00:21:42,932
[Crowd chatters]
445
00:21:51,274 --> 00:21:53,476
What the hell?!
446
00:21:56,780 --> 00:21:57,680
Come on, good.
447
00:21:57,714 --> 00:21:59,549
Now we'll just worry about putting, huh?
448
00:21:59,582 --> 00:22:01,518
Oh, yeah, putting.
449
00:22:02,752 --> 00:22:05,221
All right. Remember what I said, huh?
450
00:22:05,255 --> 00:22:06,956
Just use your shoulders to push the ball,
451
00:22:06,990 --> 00:22:08,024
not your arms.
452
00:22:08,057 --> 00:22:09,826
Don't break the wrist
and bring that putter back
453
00:22:09,859 --> 00:22:11,528
just like--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
454
00:22:11,561 --> 00:22:12,429
You're confusing me.
455
00:22:12,462 --> 00:22:14,831
Just let me put the ball in the hole.
456
00:22:14,864 --> 00:22:16,633
All right.
457
00:22:26,276 --> 00:22:27,777
[Crowd oohs]
458
00:22:29,145 --> 00:22:30,747
Is this guy kidding?
459
00:22:40,156 --> 00:22:41,658
[Crowd laughs and chatters]
460
00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:52,769
This is pathetic.
461
00:23:05,915 --> 00:23:08,017
Yeah!
- There you go. Good shot.
462
00:23:08,051 --> 00:23:10,153
It's about time.
- Hey, it is about time.
463
00:23:10,186 --> 00:23:12,288
I mean, I just couldn't get the ball in the hole.
464
00:23:12,322 --> 00:23:14,724
I wanted to, but I just couldn't do it.
465
00:23:14,757 --> 00:23:16,059
Hey! What are you doing?
466
00:23:16,092 --> 00:23:17,327
[Crowd gasps]
467
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:18,928
Yes, sir.
468
00:23:43,353 --> 00:23:45,054
[Crowd gasping]
469
00:23:45,088 --> 00:23:47,790
He shoots, he scores!
470
00:23:47,824 --> 00:23:50,059
Oh, man, that was so
much easier than putting.
471
00:23:50,093 --> 00:23:53,196
I should just try to get
the ball-in-one shot every time.
472
00:23:53,229 --> 00:23:54,831
Good plan. [Chuckles]
473
00:23:54,864 --> 00:23:56,933
Did you see that?
- Yes. Nice shot.
474
00:23:56,966 --> 00:23:59,702
He just got a hole in one on a par four.
475
00:23:59,736 --> 00:24:01,671
I know. I just said I saw it.
476
00:24:01,704 --> 00:24:04,841
Oh, I hope he wins. He's a publicist's dream.
477
00:24:04,874 --> 00:24:07,677
I mean, a guy who can drive the ball that far,
478
00:24:07,710 --> 00:24:09,379
oh, he can really draw a crowd.
479
00:24:09,412 --> 00:24:10,947
You know what else could draw a crowd?
480
00:24:10,980 --> 00:24:13,716
A golfer with an arm growing out of his ass.
481
00:24:38,074 --> 00:24:40,777
♫ Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin ♫
482
00:24:40,810 --> 00:24:42,946
♫ I came to win, battle me that's a sin ♫
483
00:24:42,979 --> 00:24:45,248
♫ I won't tear the sack up,
punk you'd better back up ♫
484
00:24:45,281 --> 00:24:47,817
♫ Try and play the role and
the whole crew will act up ♫
485
00:24:47,850 --> 00:24:49,919
♫ Get up, stand up, come on,
throw your hands up ♫
486
00:24:49,953 --> 00:24:51,921
Yeah!
487
00:24:51,955 --> 00:24:53,990
♫ Mugs is a funk fest,
someone's talking junk ♫
488
00:24:54,023 --> 00:24:55,124
♫ Yo, I'll bust them in the eye ♫
489
00:24:55,158 --> 00:24:56,726
♫ And then I'll take the punks home ♫
490
00:24:56,759 --> 00:24:58,661
♫ Feel it, funk it, amps in the trunk ♫
491
00:24:58,695 --> 00:25:00,263
♫ And I got more rhymes
than there's cops ♫
492
00:25:00,296 --> 00:25:01,931
♫ At a Dunkin Donuts shop ♫
493
00:25:01,965 --> 00:25:03,933
♫ Sure enough I got props
from kids on the Hill ♫
494
00:25:03,967 --> 00:25:04,934
♫ Plus my mom and my pops ♫
495
00:25:04,968 --> 00:25:07,136
♫ I came to get down,
I came to get down ♫
496
00:25:07,170 --> 00:25:09,405
♫ So get out your seat and jump around ♫
497
00:25:09,439 --> 00:25:10,773
♫ Jump around ♫
498
00:25:11,841 --> 00:25:13,042
♫ Jump around ♫
499
00:25:14,243 --> 00:25:16,412
♫ Jump around ♫
500
00:25:16,446 --> 00:25:18,681
♫ Jump up, jump up and get down ♫
501
00:25:18,715 --> 00:25:20,750
♫ Jump, jump, jump, jump ♫
502
00:25:20,783 --> 00:25:25,288
♫ Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump ♫
503
00:25:25,321 --> 00:25:27,857
All right, now, you make this one
504
00:25:27,890 --> 00:25:31,060
in four or less shots,
you win the tournament.
505
00:25:31,094 --> 00:25:32,829
Four shots.
506
00:25:32,862 --> 00:25:34,297
Just think of it this way.
507
00:25:34,330 --> 00:25:37,166
Other team has pulled their goalie,
508
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:38,401
it's wide open,
509
00:25:38,434 --> 00:25:41,404
all you got to do is tap it in.
510
00:25:41,437 --> 00:25:43,072
I can do that.
511
00:25:52,382 --> 00:25:53,750
[Crowd groans]
512
00:26:02,025 --> 00:26:04,727
Don't worry about it.
You're still in good shape.
513
00:26:04,761 --> 00:26:06,796
All you got to do is just tap it in,
514
00:26:06,829 --> 00:26:09,198
just tap it in now.
515
00:26:09,232 --> 00:26:11,968
Hey. Just tap it in.
516
00:26:17,206 --> 00:26:17,974
[Crowd groans]
517
00:26:18,007 --> 00:26:21,210
Just tap it in. Just tap it in,
518
00:26:21,244 --> 00:26:24,714
Give it a little tappy. Tap, tap, tap-a-roo.
519
00:26:28,785 --> 00:26:32,955
Grandma, grandma, grandma, grandma.
520
00:26:36,125 --> 00:26:37,360
All right, yeah!
521
00:26:37,393 --> 00:26:40,396
♫ Oh, ho, ho, it's magic ♫
522
00:26:40,430 --> 00:26:43,366
♫ You know ♫
523
00:26:43,399 --> 00:26:47,236
♫ Never believe it's not so ♫
524
00:26:47,270 --> 00:26:48,271
♫ It's magic ♫
525
00:26:48,304 --> 00:26:51,174
He's going to be on the tour. That's super.
526
00:26:51,207 --> 00:26:54,310
Woo! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
527
00:26:54,343 --> 00:26:56,345
That's cute.
528
00:26:57,547 --> 00:27:00,383
Mr. Gilmore. Virginia Venit.
529
00:27:00,416 --> 00:27:02,385
Hi, I'm PR director for the tour.
530
00:27:02,418 --> 00:27:03,486
Hi, nice to meet you.
531
00:27:03,519 --> 00:27:06,189
I just wanted to say
welcome and congratulations.
532
00:27:06,222 --> 00:27:08,057
I saw that hole in one on a par four.
533
00:27:08,091 --> 00:27:09,292
That's got to be some kind of record, huh?
534
00:27:09,325 --> 00:27:11,861
Oh, yeah, yeah. Hey, I got a hockey record.
535
00:27:11,894 --> 00:27:13,896
I took my skate off and
tried to stab somebody.
536
00:27:13,930 --> 00:27:15,898
I'm the only guy who ever did that.
537
00:27:15,932 --> 00:27:17,133
That's wonderful.
538
00:27:17,166 --> 00:27:18,868
I'm a little bit bummed, though, you know,
539
00:27:18,901 --> 00:27:20,403
I thought we were going
to get some money for this.
540
00:27:20,436 --> 00:27:21,571
Oh, well, cheer up.
541
00:27:21,604 --> 00:27:25,975
Next week in Portland,
the winner takes home $216,000.
542
00:27:26,008 --> 00:27:28,211
Whoa. How about the guy
who comes in last place?
543
00:27:28,244 --> 00:27:30,146
Um... $2,400.
544
00:27:30,179 --> 00:27:34,250
All right. So, no matter what
I'm going to get some money.
545
00:27:34,283 --> 00:27:36,853
Yeah.
546
00:27:36,886 --> 00:27:40,423
Yeah, well, I'll see you next week then.
547
00:27:40,456 --> 00:27:42,191
All right, bye.
- Bye-bye.
548
00:27:45,094 --> 00:27:48,564
Hey, man, I hate to admit
this but this is my first trophy.
549
00:27:48,598 --> 00:27:50,933
Only problem is that goofy golf guy on top.
550
00:27:50,967 --> 00:27:52,068
Maybe the guy at the trophy store
551
00:27:52,101 --> 00:27:53,836
could put a little hockey guy on there.
552
00:27:53,870 --> 00:27:56,239
Happy, shut your trap.
- All right.
553
00:27:56,272 --> 00:27:58,107
I got to admit,
you were great out there today.
554
00:27:58,141 --> 00:28:00,910
Thank you.
- But you weren't that great.
555
00:28:00,943 --> 00:28:03,312
Lot of that was luck.
- Well, some might call it luck.
556
00:28:03,346 --> 00:28:04,981
I like to call it...
557
00:28:05,014 --> 00:28:06,549
well, luck, I guess. So what?
558
00:28:06,582 --> 00:28:08,317
So, I want you to put off joining
559
00:28:08,351 --> 00:28:09,485
the pro tour for a while.
560
00:28:09,519 --> 00:28:11,187
We've got a lot of work
to do before you go out there
561
00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:12,855
and compete with those real professionals.
562
00:28:12,889 --> 00:28:14,090
Forget it, Chubbs, I learned a lot today.
563
00:28:14,123 --> 00:28:15,458
I'll just pick up the rest as I go along.
564
00:28:15,491 --> 00:28:16,692
Stop being a damn fool.
565
00:28:16,726 --> 00:28:19,228
People would kill to be able
to hit the long ball like you.
566
00:28:19,262 --> 00:28:21,364
You got an advantage over any man that
567
00:28:21,397 --> 00:28:22,465
walks out onto the tee.
568
00:28:22,498 --> 00:28:25,067
All we need to do is develop
the rest of your game.
569
00:28:25,101 --> 00:28:27,203
Then you'd be unstoppable, son.
570
00:28:27,236 --> 00:28:29,138
You're probably right, but I just can't wait.
571
00:28:29,172 --> 00:28:30,006
I need money.
572
00:28:30,039 --> 00:28:31,274
That's spoken like a true asshole.
573
00:28:31,307 --> 00:28:35,178
Look, just give me six months.
I'll work with you every day.
574
00:28:35,211 --> 00:28:39,115
No, no, no, I got to go.
I appreciate everything.
575
00:28:39,148 --> 00:28:41,851
Wish me luck.
[Grunts]
576
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,622
Best of luck, kid. Best of luck.
577
00:28:46,656 --> 00:28:48,558
Marty, if you'd stop yapping your trap
578
00:28:48,591 --> 00:28:53,095
for a second I could tell you.
The price is $200 per quilt.
579
00:28:53,129 --> 00:28:55,531
Yeah, well, this is handmade
quality shit we're talking here.
580
00:28:55,565 --> 00:28:58,134
Yes, well, when do you need them by?
581
00:28:58,167 --> 00:28:58,868
All right.
582
00:28:58,901 --> 00:29:00,436
Good doing business with you.
583
00:29:00,469 --> 00:29:03,172
Okay, listen up everybody.
Turn up your volumes.
584
00:29:03,206 --> 00:29:05,141
Announcement. I got good news.
585
00:29:05,174 --> 00:29:06,509
We're extending arts and crafts time
586
00:29:06,542 --> 00:29:07,643
by four hours today.
587
00:29:07,677 --> 00:29:09,645
My fingers hurt.
588
00:29:09,679 --> 00:29:12,248
What's that?
589
00:29:12,281 --> 00:29:13,950
My fingers hurt.
590
00:29:13,983 --> 00:29:17,053
Oh, well, now your back's going to hurt
591
00:29:17,086 --> 00:29:20,022
because you just pulled landscaping duty.
592
00:29:20,056 --> 00:29:22,124
Anybody else's fingers hurt?
593
00:29:23,693 --> 00:29:25,428
I didn't think so.
594
00:29:26,963 --> 00:29:28,164
Why do you do that to me, huh?
595
00:29:28,197 --> 00:29:30,399
Why do you make me act
like that in front of everybody, huh?
596
00:29:30,433 --> 00:29:31,434
Mr. Gilmore.
597
00:29:31,467 --> 00:29:33,669
Hey, toidy's straight down to the right, dear.
598
00:29:33,703 --> 00:29:34,904
How's my grandma?
- Oh, she's super.
599
00:29:34,937 --> 00:29:37,406
We're just enjoying some
arts and craft's time right now.
600
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:39,141
Grandma's quite a quilter.
601
00:29:39,175 --> 00:29:40,109
Hey.
602
00:29:40,142 --> 00:29:41,577
Wow, that's a tremendous looking trophy.
603
00:29:41,611 --> 00:29:43,346
Happy.
- Ah.
604
00:29:43,379 --> 00:29:44,680
I'm so glad to see you.
605
00:29:44,714 --> 00:29:46,415
I'm glad to see you, too, grandma.
606
00:29:46,449 --> 00:29:48,985
I've been thinking about you all the time.
607
00:29:49,018 --> 00:29:51,921
Looks like everybody's having fun here, huh?
608
00:29:56,559 --> 00:30:00,363
Grandma, good news,
I made the professional golfer's tour.
609
00:30:00,396 --> 00:30:03,132
That's lovely, dear.
- Yeah, it is lovely.
610
00:30:03,165 --> 00:30:04,200
You know what else is lovely?
611
00:30:04,233 --> 00:30:07,303
If I can figure out a way
to beat those other guys,
612
00:30:07,336 --> 00:30:09,338
we're going to get the house back.
613
00:30:09,372 --> 00:30:11,040
Oh, thank God.
614
00:30:11,073 --> 00:30:13,509
I can't stand to live in this
place another minute.
615
00:30:13,542 --> 00:30:15,711
What are you talking about?
I thought you like it here.
616
00:30:15,745 --> 00:30:17,446
That orderly guy seems very nice.
617
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:18,214
Don't you like him?
618
00:30:18,247 --> 00:30:21,617
Oh, I do, I do. It's just, well,
619
00:30:21,651 --> 00:30:25,221
the air conditioner's broke
and I'm getting a little warm.
620
00:30:25,254 --> 00:30:27,723
Well, just let the kid fix it for you.
621
00:30:27,757 --> 00:30:30,359
All right, you got the little twisty knobs.
622
00:30:32,028 --> 00:30:34,530
That ain't doing it. All right.
623
00:30:36,165 --> 00:30:37,533
[Woman screams]
624
00:30:37,566 --> 00:30:39,602
Mister! Mister!
625
00:30:39,635 --> 00:30:42,271
Get this off of me. Mister!
626
00:30:42,305 --> 00:30:45,074
Hang on, I'll be right down.
627
00:30:45,107 --> 00:30:46,742
You know that "mister, mister" lady?
628
00:30:46,776 --> 00:30:49,111
I think I just killed her.
629
00:30:49,145 --> 00:30:52,415
♫ Carry on my wayward son ♫
630
00:30:52,448 --> 00:30:56,352
♫ There'll be peace when you are done ♫
631
00:30:56,385 --> 00:31:00,056
♫ Lay your weary head to rest ♫
632
00:31:00,089 --> 00:31:01,557
♫ Don't you cry no more ♫
633
00:31:01,590 --> 00:31:03,392
What'd you expect?
Norman spends more time
634
00:31:03,426 --> 00:31:06,662
in the sand than David Hasselhoff.
635
00:31:06,696 --> 00:31:08,297
Whoo! Come on, that's funny.
636
00:31:08,331 --> 00:31:10,132
Yeah, it was funny the first time I heard it.
637
00:31:10,166 --> 00:31:11,200
Oh, drink up, would you?
638
00:31:11,233 --> 00:31:14,737
Hey, anybody tap the keg
yet? I'll pump. Right?
639
00:31:14,770 --> 00:31:15,738
I'm Happy Gilmore. What's up?
640
00:31:15,771 --> 00:31:17,773
Hey, Happy, Mark Lye, welcome to the tour.
641
00:31:17,807 --> 00:31:18,808
Thanks.
- Yeah.
642
00:31:18,841 --> 00:31:21,243
I heard about that ace
you had on that par four.
643
00:31:21,277 --> 00:31:23,479
Man, that's impressive.
- You heard about that?
644
00:31:23,512 --> 00:31:25,381
Yeah.
- That's cool.
645
00:31:25,414 --> 00:31:27,483
That's a nice jacket.
- Yeah, it is, isn't it?
646
00:31:27,516 --> 00:31:29,785
They give you one if you
win the tour championship.
647
00:31:29,819 --> 00:31:32,321
Oh, yeah? What's that?
648
00:31:32,355 --> 00:31:34,590
It's only the biggest
tournament of the year.
649
00:31:34,623 --> 00:31:36,659
Oh, really?
- Yeah.
650
00:31:36,692 --> 00:31:38,294
Where's yours?
- That's good.
651
00:31:38,327 --> 00:31:40,129
That's a good one. He's a funny guy.
652
00:31:40,162 --> 00:31:41,664
Well, I'll have mine in what,
three months, guys?
653
00:31:41,697 --> 00:31:43,733
Yeah. Not if I have anything
to do with it you won't.
654
00:31:43,766 --> 00:31:46,335
Whoa, look out.
655
00:31:46,369 --> 00:31:47,269
You better look out, boys.
656
00:31:47,303 --> 00:31:49,171
Hey, if you're not doing anything later,
657
00:31:49,205 --> 00:31:51,440
why don't you join us
at 9:00 on the ninth green?
658
00:31:51,474 --> 00:31:54,543
What happens there?
- That's a secret of the pros.
659
00:31:54,577 --> 00:31:57,446
All right, cool. Thanks, man.
All right, I'm out of here.
660
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,715
I hear that Asteroids
machine calling my name
661
00:31:59,749 --> 00:32:02,184
from the game room. So, peace.
662
00:32:02,218 --> 00:32:04,820
Oh, and Happy, dress nice, huh?
663
00:32:04,854 --> 00:32:06,555
Oh, all right, all right.
664
00:32:16,866 --> 00:32:19,135
Almost 9:00.
665
00:32:40,823 --> 00:32:43,859
Hey, public relations lady,
you see Shooter McGavin around?
666
00:32:43,893 --> 00:32:44,994
No, why?
667
00:32:45,027 --> 00:32:47,196
Oh, I just need to beat
the living piss out of him.
668
00:32:47,229 --> 00:32:49,265
Wait, let me guess, the old ninth green
669
00:32:49,298 --> 00:32:50,466
at 9:00 trick, huh?
670
00:32:50,499 --> 00:32:52,201
It would appear so, now, wouldn't it?
671
00:32:52,234 --> 00:32:54,203
You're right. He does deserve a beating.
672
00:32:54,236 --> 00:32:56,405
But if you beat him
up tonight, I've got to get up
673
00:32:56,439 --> 00:32:58,207
in the morning and explain to the papers
674
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,409
why the new guy on the tour
beat up Shooter McGavin.
675
00:33:00,443 --> 00:33:02,878
So, you see, you'd really be
making more work for me.
676
00:33:02,912 --> 00:33:04,547
Oh, I wouldn't want to do that.
677
00:33:04,580 --> 00:33:06,415
Listen, don't worry about Shooter.
678
00:33:06,449 --> 00:33:07,817
He's just threatened by you.
679
00:33:07,850 --> 00:33:10,486
He's worried you're going
to steal some of his thunder.
680
00:33:10,519 --> 00:33:13,122
Well, that's nice of you to say.
681
00:33:14,523 --> 00:33:17,660
So, all right, I'm going to go change now.
682
00:33:17,693 --> 00:33:19,762
Okay.
683
00:33:19,795 --> 00:33:21,464
Hey, my girlfriend's dead, you know.
684
00:33:21,497 --> 00:33:23,399
She fell off a cliff and died on impact.
685
00:33:23,432 --> 00:33:25,901
Really? I'm sorry to hear that.
686
00:33:25,935 --> 00:33:27,369
Yeah.
687
00:33:27,403 --> 00:33:31,173
You know, you should
get some sleep, Gilmore.
688
00:33:31,207 --> 00:33:32,808
Tomorrow's a big day.
689
00:33:32,842 --> 00:33:34,777
You're right, it is.
690
00:33:34,810 --> 00:33:37,346
[Water squishing]
691
00:33:45,988 --> 00:33:47,590
Hello, everybody, I'm Verne Lundquist
692
00:33:47,623 --> 00:33:48,624
along with Jack Beard.
693
00:33:48,657 --> 00:33:50,793
Looks like we're going
to have a nice crowd here
694
00:33:50,826 --> 00:33:54,597
on this sunsational April
morning of the 22nd annual
695
00:33:54,630 --> 00:33:56,398
ATandT Invitational.
696
00:33:56,432 --> 00:33:58,367
The field includes a group of elite golfers
697
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,669
from around the world,
the favorite has to be
698
00:34:00,703 --> 00:34:03,606
Shooter McGavin.
He's won three of the last four.
699
00:34:05,841 --> 00:34:09,545
Hey. Thanks, man.
700
00:34:09,578 --> 00:34:11,547
Hey, hey, hey.
- Here's my last buck.
701
00:34:11,580 --> 00:34:13,482
This the last time I'm going to tell you.
702
00:34:13,516 --> 00:34:15,284
Oh, come on. He's just trying
703
00:34:15,317 --> 00:34:17,586
to make some money. Leave him alone.
704
00:34:19,421 --> 00:34:20,956
Shooter: I tell you,
I don't know what it is about
705
00:34:20,990 --> 00:34:22,458
this big winning streak I'm on.
706
00:34:22,491 --> 00:34:23,826
I'm in the zone. What can I say?
707
00:34:23,859 --> 00:34:25,294
The hole just seems to get bigger.
708
00:34:25,327 --> 00:34:26,629
So how does it feel to be
the favorite, Shooter?
709
00:34:26,662 --> 00:34:28,364
Well, I certainly don't think I'm the favorite.
710
00:34:28,397 --> 00:34:29,465
With the great players here today
711
00:34:29,498 --> 00:34:30,499
it's really anyone's tournament.
712
00:34:30,533 --> 00:34:31,700
I'm just trying to do the best I can out there.
713
00:34:31,734 --> 00:34:34,370
I tell you the real winner
today is the city of Portland.
714
00:34:34,403 --> 00:34:36,005
Every time I come here
it gets harder to leave.
715
00:34:36,038 --> 00:34:38,307
I think you guys put something in the water.
716
00:34:38,340 --> 00:34:39,808
Excuse me, I got to go play little golf.
717
00:34:39,842 --> 00:34:41,744
Good luck.
- Thanks.
718
00:34:41,777 --> 00:34:44,747
Hey, I'm a hockey player
but I'm playing golf today.
719
00:34:44,780 --> 00:34:47,349
Name?
- Happy Gilmore.
720
00:34:47,383 --> 00:34:49,718
Oh, the guy with the long drive.
721
00:34:49,752 --> 00:34:51,020
What's your caddy's name?
722
00:34:51,053 --> 00:34:53,322
Oh, you guys haven't given me one yet.
723
00:34:53,355 --> 00:34:55,891
Well, on the pro tour you
provide your own caddy.
724
00:34:55,925 --> 00:34:58,994
Really? Ooh.
725
00:34:59,028 --> 00:35:00,629
All right.
726
00:35:02,464 --> 00:35:03,799
Hey, easy with those clubs, all right?
727
00:35:03,832 --> 00:35:05,367
They're antiques.
728
00:35:07,670 --> 00:35:09,638
Gary Potter, great to have
you on the tour, Happy.
729
00:35:09,672 --> 00:35:12,441
I feel a lot of solid energy coming out of you.
730
00:35:12,474 --> 00:35:15,311
Good, positive aura.
Great. Great. It's all great.
731
00:35:15,344 --> 00:35:17,413
Yeah, yeah. Nice to meet you, man.
732
00:35:17,446 --> 00:35:19,348
Is it always like this with the TV cameras
733
00:35:19,381 --> 00:35:20,482
and the people and stuff?
734
00:35:20,516 --> 00:35:23,452
Oh, yeah, lot of pressure.
You got to rise above it.
735
00:35:23,485 --> 00:35:25,321
You got to harness in the good energy,
736
00:35:25,354 --> 00:35:29,291
block out the bad.
Harness energy, block bad.
737
00:35:29,325 --> 00:35:31,327
Feel the flow, Happy. Feel it.
738
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,362
It's circular. It's like a carousel.
739
00:35:33,395 --> 00:35:34,763
You pay the quarter, you get on the horse,
740
00:35:34,797 --> 00:35:38,634
it goes up and down and
around, circular, circle.
741
00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:41,570
With the music, the flow, all good things.
742
00:35:41,604 --> 00:35:43,906
Yeah, all right, well, great. Thanks a lot.
743
00:35:43,939 --> 00:35:46,008
Nice to meet you, man.
744
00:35:46,041 --> 00:35:47,376
Psycho.
745
00:35:47,409 --> 00:35:50,346
Next to tee off, Happy Gilmore.
746
00:35:51,914 --> 00:35:53,549
All right, give me a club.
747
00:35:55,684 --> 00:35:56,619
I'll get it.
748
00:36:08,597 --> 00:36:09,798
Fu-- [bleep] this sh-- [bleep].
749
00:36:09,832 --> 00:36:12,067
Fu-- [bleep] me in the fu-- [bleep] ass.
750
00:36:12,101 --> 00:36:14,570
I'll kill you [bleep], stupid [bleep]
751
00:36:14,603 --> 00:36:17,640
monkey [bleep] licking [bleep].
752
00:36:17,673 --> 00:36:21,076
[Bleep] that. [Crowd gasping]
753
00:36:21,110 --> 00:36:23,312
Sorry.
754
00:36:27,683 --> 00:36:28,751
Psycho.
755
00:36:43,632 --> 00:36:44,900
[Applause]
756
00:36:44,933 --> 00:36:49,705
What a shot by Happy Gilmore.
Who the hell is Happy Gilmore?
757
00:36:49,738 --> 00:36:51,640
[Muttering] I don't know.
758
00:37:12,561 --> 00:37:15,798
Oh, yeah! Woo-hoo!
759
00:37:15,831 --> 00:37:16,999
I got it!
760
00:37:17,032 --> 00:37:18,967
Woo!
761
00:37:19,001 --> 00:37:20,135
You like that, baby?
762
00:37:20,169 --> 00:37:22,638
Plenty more where that came from. Yeah!
763
00:37:24,740 --> 00:37:27,009
Get Virginia Venit in here immediately.
764
00:37:27,042 --> 00:37:28,744
I think you should use a five iron.
765
00:37:28,777 --> 00:37:31,547
You think so? Give me my wedge.
766
00:37:42,057 --> 00:37:43,959
Ha! [Imitates gun shot]
767
00:37:43,992 --> 00:37:45,160
[applause]
768
00:37:45,194 --> 00:37:47,896
Five iron, huh? Well, you're fired.
769
00:37:47,930 --> 00:37:49,765
Bye-bye.
770
00:37:49,798 --> 00:37:51,533
♫ Wooly bully ♫
771
00:37:56,205 --> 00:37:59,875
♫ Wooly bully, wooly bully ♫
772
00:37:59,908 --> 00:38:01,210
♫ Wooly bully ♫
773
00:38:01,243 --> 00:38:03,178
Yee haw! Yee haw!
774
00:38:03,212 --> 00:38:04,980
What are you doing, Happy? Riding a bull?
775
00:38:05,013 --> 00:38:06,048
Happy: Yeah.
776
00:38:06,081 --> 00:38:07,916
You're acting like a damn fool!
777
00:38:07,950 --> 00:38:09,418
Woo!
- Yipee!
778
00:38:12,054 --> 00:38:13,789
[Howls]
779
00:38:13,822 --> 00:38:16,158
Doing the bull dance. Feeling the flow.
780
00:38:16,191 --> 00:38:17,793
Working it. Working it.
781
00:38:17,826 --> 00:38:19,928
On the 18th green, Shooter McGavin
782
00:38:19,962 --> 00:38:21,130
is putting for the win.
783
00:38:21,163 --> 00:38:22,765
Maybe it's just me but his crowd
784
00:38:22,798 --> 00:38:26,802
seems unusually small
for this type of moment.
785
00:38:26,835 --> 00:38:28,437
[Applause]
786
00:38:30,973 --> 00:38:32,841
Verne: I think most
people have found their way
787
00:38:32,875 --> 00:38:34,643
over to Happy Gilmore.
788
00:38:34,676 --> 00:38:35,811
He's been the talk of the course today
789
00:38:35,844 --> 00:38:38,213
with his huge drives and his amazingly
790
00:38:38,247 --> 00:38:39,815
bizarre behavior.
791
00:38:39,848 --> 00:38:43,152
He's on the 17th green right
now having a little trouble
792
00:38:43,185 --> 00:38:44,686
closing out his day.
793
00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:48,090
Happy, the ball itself has its own energy
794
00:38:48,123 --> 00:38:49,558
or life force, if you will.
795
00:38:49,591 --> 00:38:52,628
Its natural environment is in the hole.
796
00:38:52,661 --> 00:38:54,663
So why don't you send him home?
797
00:38:54,696 --> 00:38:58,233
His bags are packed.
He's got his airplane tickets.
798
00:38:58,267 --> 00:39:01,036
Bring him to the airport.
799
00:39:01,069 --> 00:39:02,971
Send him home.
800
00:39:03,005 --> 00:39:04,573
Send him home.
801
00:39:04,606 --> 00:39:06,074
Just send him home.
802
00:39:06,108 --> 00:39:08,744
Time to go home there, ball.
803
00:39:11,180 --> 00:39:12,281
[Crowd groans]
804
00:39:12,314 --> 00:39:15,951
You son-of-a-bitch ball.
Why didn't you just go home?!
805
00:39:15,984 --> 00:39:17,252
That's your home!
806
00:39:17,286 --> 00:39:19,054
Are you too good for your home?!
807
00:39:19,087 --> 00:39:20,255
Answer me!
808
00:39:20,289 --> 00:39:23,859
Suck my white ass, ball!
809
00:39:23,892 --> 00:39:24,760
[Crowd gasping]
810
00:39:28,297 --> 00:39:30,165
Happy: [yelling]
- Virginia, put out
811
00:39:30,199 --> 00:39:32,000
a press release concerning Happy Gilmore
812
00:39:32,034 --> 00:39:33,268
being thrown off the tour.
813
00:39:33,302 --> 00:39:34,870
I want to see a draft by 6:00 P.M.
814
00:39:34,903 --> 00:39:36,872
You're right. He was out of line.
815
00:39:36,905 --> 00:39:39,208
His behavior is completely unacceptable.
816
00:39:39,241 --> 00:39:43,011
But you know, golf has been
waiting for a player like this.
817
00:39:43,045 --> 00:39:45,881
A colorful, emotional, working-class hero.
818
00:39:45,914 --> 00:39:48,150
I will not tolerate behavior like this.
819
00:39:48,183 --> 00:39:49,117
Gilmore is gone.
820
00:39:49,151 --> 00:39:51,286
I just got a call from the Dallas Open.
821
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,255
Their phones have been ringing off the hook
822
00:39:53,288 --> 00:39:55,290
with people who want to see Happy.
823
00:39:55,324 --> 00:39:57,626
They just sold out.
- Already?
824
00:39:57,659 --> 00:39:59,328
I know, he's a little rough around the edges,
825
00:39:59,361 --> 00:40:00,896
but let me work with him.
826
00:40:00,929 --> 00:40:03,899
Happy: Piece of monkey [bleep].
827
00:40:03,932 --> 00:40:05,667
Okay. Fine.
828
00:40:05,701 --> 00:40:07,269
But he's your responsibility.
829
00:40:07,302 --> 00:40:09,304
If he cleans up his act, he can stay.
830
00:40:09,338 --> 00:40:11,974
If he doesn't, it's your ass.
831
00:40:12,007 --> 00:40:13,308
And anymore of this...
832
00:40:13,342 --> 00:40:15,978
Happy: [bleep].
833
00:40:16,011 --> 00:40:17,646
There, you fu-- [bleep] mother [bleep].
834
00:40:17,679 --> 00:40:18,914
And he's gone.
835
00:40:18,947 --> 00:40:22,251
Happy: You pu-- [bleep].
You [bleep] bitch. [Bleep]
836
00:40:22,284 --> 00:40:24,620
Fu-- you!
837
00:40:26,021 --> 00:40:27,022
Reporter: Whoa.
838
00:40:27,055 --> 00:40:28,790
Shooter, Shooter, Shooter.
839
00:40:28,824 --> 00:40:30,759
What do you think of Happy Gilmore?
840
00:40:30,792 --> 00:40:32,794
I didn't get a chance to see him play.
841
00:40:32,828 --> 00:40:33,795
I was too busy winning.
842
00:40:33,829 --> 00:40:35,330
You got to admit, that's a hell of a drive.
843
00:40:35,364 --> 00:40:36,698
450 yards, huh?
844
00:40:36,732 --> 00:40:38,033
Yeah, how'd he finish again?
845
00:40:38,066 --> 00:40:39,334
Dead last?
846
00:40:39,368 --> 00:40:40,802
Oh, yeah, yeah. He had a good day, though.
847
00:40:40,836 --> 00:40:41,870
Thanks.
848
00:40:41,904 --> 00:40:43,972
Is it true that he made
a 450-yard hole-in-one?
849
00:40:44,006 --> 00:40:44,907
Hey, where's my check?
850
00:40:44,940 --> 00:40:46,642
We'll be mailing them out next week, sir.
851
00:40:46,675 --> 00:40:48,210
Oh, no, no. I want mine now.
852
00:40:48,243 --> 00:40:49,478
I don't have any checks to give.
853
00:40:49,511 --> 00:40:51,947
Well, that guy got one, right?
Give me one of them big ones.
854
00:40:51,980 --> 00:40:53,148
I don't care.
855
00:40:55,217 --> 00:40:57,085
Hiya pal, how about a beer?
856
00:40:57,119 --> 00:40:58,820
Hey, put that on my tab.
857
00:40:58,854 --> 00:41:00,389
That was quite a show
you put on today, Gilmore.
858
00:41:00,422 --> 00:41:01,957
You were the talk of the tournament.
859
00:41:01,990 --> 00:41:02,925
Wow, thanks a lot.
860
00:41:02,958 --> 00:41:04,393
Yeah, well, you really crushed that ball
861
00:41:04,426 --> 00:41:05,394
at the tee, I'll tell you what.
862
00:41:05,427 --> 00:41:06,962
You know, you'd be
something on one of those
863
00:41:06,995 --> 00:41:07,863
long drive contests.
864
00:41:07,896 --> 00:41:08,864
You'd probably make a very good living
865
00:41:08,897 --> 00:41:11,733
traveling around, hustling at driving ranges.
866
00:41:11,767 --> 00:41:13,368
Thanks, Phil.
- That's, that's, that's...
867
00:41:13,402 --> 00:41:15,103
you know, I know what
you're doing right now
868
00:41:15,137 --> 00:41:16,905
and I don't like it.
869
00:41:16,939 --> 00:41:18,340
So why don't you just shut your trap
870
00:41:18,373 --> 00:41:21,610
before I put my foot in it?
871
00:41:22,711 --> 00:41:23,845
Don't turn your back on me.
872
00:41:23,879 --> 00:41:26,381
Let's get one thing straight.
This is Shooter's tour.
873
00:41:26,415 --> 00:41:28,417
I've worked hard
my whole life, paid my dues,
874
00:41:28,450 --> 00:41:29,551
and now it's Shooter's turn.
875
00:41:29,585 --> 00:41:31,820
And Shooter's not
about to let his reign at the top
876
00:41:31,853 --> 00:41:34,389
be spoiled by some freak sideshow clown.
877
00:41:34,423 --> 00:41:36,959
Did you just call me a freak?
878
00:41:36,992 --> 00:41:39,394
I was on this tour for one reason, money.
879
00:41:39,428 --> 00:41:41,863
But now I got a new reason. Kicking your ass.
880
00:41:41,897 --> 00:41:44,766
Well, I'd like to see you try.
881
00:41:45,767 --> 00:41:46,768
Let's do it then.
882
00:41:46,802 --> 00:41:49,004
Hey. I meant on a golf course.
883
00:41:49,037 --> 00:41:51,073
Hey! Hey, what's going on here, huh?
884
00:41:51,106 --> 00:41:53,141
Oh, I was just looking for the other half
885
00:41:53,175 --> 00:41:55,777
of this bottle, and oh, there's some of it.
886
00:41:55,811 --> 00:41:57,379
There's some right there, too.
887
00:41:57,412 --> 00:41:58,680
Why don't you just put it down?
888
00:41:58,714 --> 00:42:00,716
Yeah, I know.
889
00:42:00,749 --> 00:42:03,352
Just stay out of my way. Or you'll pay.
890
00:42:03,385 --> 00:42:04,953
Listen to what I say.
891
00:42:04,987 --> 00:42:07,289
How about I just go eat some hay?
892
00:42:07,322 --> 00:42:11,126
I could make things out of clay
and lay by the bay, I just may.
893
00:42:11,159 --> 00:42:12,260
What do you say?
894
00:42:17,366 --> 00:42:19,167
You better calm down or you're going
895
00:42:19,201 --> 00:42:20,168
to get kicked off this tour.
896
00:42:20,202 --> 00:42:21,269
That can't happen.
897
00:42:21,303 --> 00:42:23,438
Yes, it can happen and I
don't want it to happen.
898
00:42:23,472 --> 00:42:25,307
You could be a big star on the tour.
899
00:42:25,340 --> 00:42:27,843
I don't want to be a big star.
I want to make some money.
900
00:42:27,876 --> 00:42:29,778
Well, you're not going to be
around long to make money
901
00:42:29,811 --> 00:42:31,279
unless you start behaving.
902
00:42:31,313 --> 00:42:33,448
All right, take it easy.
What do you mean my behaving?
903
00:42:33,482 --> 00:42:35,917
I mean, no swearing, no throwing clubs,
904
00:42:35,951 --> 00:42:38,820
and especially no hitting other players.
905
00:42:38,854 --> 00:42:40,455
Oh, good. You mean no fun?
906
00:42:40,489 --> 00:42:42,858
No, no, no. No, you can have fun
907
00:42:42,891 --> 00:42:45,127
and that's why I think people
are going to come to see you.
908
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:48,497
But you've got to keep it within reason.
909
00:42:48,530 --> 00:42:51,800
All right, I will work
on what you call behaving,
910
00:42:51,833 --> 00:42:54,169
but I ain't going to act like a stiff out there.
911
00:42:54,202 --> 00:42:56,004
Fine. Thank you.
912
00:42:57,506 --> 00:42:59,808
Hey...
913
00:42:59,841 --> 00:43:01,777
what are you doing tonight?
You want to get some food?
914
00:43:01,810 --> 00:43:04,212
Oh, no thanks. I don't date golfers.
915
00:43:04,246 --> 00:43:06,314
Oh, good. Because I'm a hockey player.
916
00:43:08,850 --> 00:43:11,153
Just behave, okay?
917
00:43:13,922 --> 00:43:15,791
Verne: Happy Gilmore
makes his way to the tee
918
00:43:15,824 --> 00:43:18,226
in the 72nd annual Cleveland Classic.
919
00:43:18,260 --> 00:43:22,130
Hey! Happy Gilmore! Drive it 400 yards!
920
00:43:22,164 --> 00:43:24,433
Oh, my God, man,
I can't believe I have fans.
921
00:43:24,466 --> 00:43:26,968
I've been waiting my whole life for that.
922
00:43:27,002 --> 00:43:27,803
Uh-oh.
923
00:43:27,836 --> 00:43:29,004
Hey, don't be alarmed, Mr. Gilmore.
924
00:43:29,037 --> 00:43:33,108
I know we had our problems,
but I'm truly proud of you.
925
00:43:33,141 --> 00:43:35,911
Hey, thanks a lot, Mr. Larson.
926
00:43:35,944 --> 00:43:40,048
It's good to see you again.
How's that thing feeling?
927
00:43:40,082 --> 00:43:42,951
Oh, terrific. The nail comes out next week.
928
00:43:42,984 --> 00:43:45,120
Well, you can hardly even notice it.
929
00:43:49,157 --> 00:43:51,126
Let's make a little noise here, huh?
930
00:43:53,061 --> 00:43:55,363
Come on. I can't hear you.
931
00:43:55,397 --> 00:43:56,998
[Cheering]
932
00:44:22,257 --> 00:44:24,259
Trying to reach the green
from here, Shooter?
933
00:44:24,292 --> 00:44:27,295
That's not possible, sir.
- I beg to differ.
934
00:44:27,329 --> 00:44:31,600
Happy Gilmore accomplished that
feat no more than an hour ago.
935
00:44:31,633 --> 00:44:35,337
Well, moron.
Good for Happy Gilmo--oh my God!
936
00:44:46,214 --> 00:44:47,115
Oh, my God.
937
00:44:54,022 --> 00:44:55,924
Come on. Mr. Larson: Hey, Shooter!
938
00:44:55,957 --> 00:44:58,293
Haven't you forgotten your nine iron?
939
00:44:58,326 --> 00:44:59,928
[Laughs]
940
00:45:02,264 --> 00:45:05,267
Quite a large and
economically diverse crowd
941
00:45:05,300 --> 00:45:07,035
here at the Michelob Invitational.
942
00:45:07,068 --> 00:45:10,071
I guess it's the new tour
sensation Happy Gilmore.
943
00:45:10,105 --> 00:45:13,341
He's attracting all sorts
of people to this beautiful course.
944
00:45:13,375 --> 00:45:15,577
Jack, I think I even saw one guy wearing
945
00:45:15,610 --> 00:45:18,914
one of those beer
dispensing plastic helmets.
946
00:45:21,583 --> 00:45:23,084
[Horns blowing]
947
00:45:25,453 --> 00:45:27,622
[crowd boos]
948
00:45:27,656 --> 00:45:31,459
Damn you, people.
Go back to your shanties.
949
00:45:31,493 --> 00:45:32,561
This is a biggie, pal.
950
00:45:32,594 --> 00:45:35,263
Time's ticking away.
I got to make some real money.
951
00:45:35,297 --> 00:45:37,966
Now, what do you think? Slightly downhill?
952
00:45:37,999 --> 00:45:39,968
And slanting left.
- No, no.
953
00:45:40,001 --> 00:45:42,871
It just seems that way because
you only got one shoe on.
954
00:45:44,406 --> 00:45:45,473
Oh, yeah.
955
00:45:49,344 --> 00:45:51,146
Yeah! [Cheering]
956
00:46:20,642 --> 00:46:22,010
Hey, what's up?
957
00:46:23,411 --> 00:46:24,312
Hi.
958
00:46:32,053 --> 00:46:33,288
You got the ball?
959
00:46:42,731 --> 00:46:45,033
Verne: Happy Gilmore from nine feet.
960
00:46:45,066 --> 00:46:46,735
Uh-oh, here comes the putter throw.
961
00:46:46,768 --> 00:46:52,374
Wait. He's restrained himself.
Maybe this a new Happy Gilmore.
962
00:46:56,211 --> 00:46:58,179
Another tournament in Dallas and another
963
00:46:58,213 --> 00:46:59,347
Shooter McGavin victory.
964
00:46:59,381 --> 00:47:02,217
He's now won here three years in a row.
965
00:47:15,530 --> 00:47:17,732
That son of a bitch!
966
00:47:17,766 --> 00:47:19,267
Give me my ball!
967
00:47:19,301 --> 00:47:20,602
Give it here!
[Growls]
968
00:47:20,635 --> 00:47:22,270
Cough it up, you dirty bastard.
969
00:47:22,304 --> 00:47:23,738
I swear to God I'll rip it out of you.
970
00:47:23,772 --> 00:47:25,674
Give me the--
971
00:47:25,707 --> 00:47:28,009
Give me the ball, alligator.
972
00:47:32,113 --> 00:47:33,982
You've got one eye.
973
00:47:35,450 --> 00:47:37,452
Chubbs.
974
00:47:37,485 --> 00:47:38,486
You took his hand.
975
00:47:43,491 --> 00:47:44,392
Yeah, baby.
976
00:47:49,397 --> 00:47:50,298
[Crowd gasping]
977
00:48:21,363 --> 00:48:23,798
That Happy Gilmore,
he's a real crack-up, isn't he?
978
00:48:23,832 --> 00:48:25,200
I mean, he's a hoot, man.
979
00:48:25,233 --> 00:48:26,801
He's bringing in some big crowds.
980
00:48:26,835 --> 00:48:27,969
Yeah.
981
00:48:28,003 --> 00:48:30,672
You know, what was great
today one of his fans mooned me
982
00:48:30,705 --> 00:48:32,273
and had "Happy" written on his ass.
983
00:48:32,307 --> 00:48:34,409
H-A on the one cheek
and then, sure enough,
984
00:48:34,442 --> 00:48:36,244
P-P-Y right there on the other.
985
00:48:36,277 --> 00:48:37,812
I think it's great what
he's doing for the sport.
986
00:48:37,846 --> 00:48:39,547
Well, yeah, I'm beginning to come around.
987
00:48:39,581 --> 00:48:42,417
Yeah, everyone seems
to be coming around.
988
00:48:42,450 --> 00:48:43,852
Well, I'm not, Doug!
989
00:48:43,885 --> 00:48:45,687
This man is destroying golf.
990
00:48:45,720 --> 00:48:49,157
I saw two big fat naked bikers
in the woods off 17 having sex.
991
00:48:49,190 --> 00:48:51,292
How am I supposed to chip
with that going on, Doug?
992
00:48:51,326 --> 00:48:52,394
You've got to kick him off the tour.
993
00:48:52,427 --> 00:48:55,730
He's not breaking any
rules and until he does--
994
00:48:55,764 --> 00:48:57,399
But he's a disgrace to the game.
995
00:48:57,432 --> 00:48:59,567
You may be right but our ratings are up
996
00:48:59,601 --> 00:49:02,437
and we're attracting new youthful sponsors.
997
00:49:02,470 --> 00:49:04,572
I'm sorry, Shooter.
998
00:49:04,606 --> 00:49:06,241
There's nothing I can do.
999
00:49:09,544 --> 00:49:12,347
Well, I guess I'll have
to take care of this myself.
1000
00:49:13,348 --> 00:49:15,383
Grandma, I came in ninth place.
1001
00:49:15,417 --> 00:49:17,185
I won $35,000.
1002
00:49:17,218 --> 00:49:19,187
So we'll get the house back?
1003
00:49:19,220 --> 00:49:20,722
As long as I don't come in last place
1004
00:49:20,755 --> 00:49:23,691
in the next two tournaments,
we'll get the money in time.
1005
00:49:23,725 --> 00:49:27,796
Oh, that's wonderful, Happy.
- I love you Grandma. Bye.
1006
00:49:27,829 --> 00:49:29,364
Goodbye, darling.
1007
00:49:34,235 --> 00:49:35,770
Hey, Virginia.
1008
00:49:35,804 --> 00:49:37,205
You know, we should go on that date.
1009
00:49:37,238 --> 00:49:38,740
I've been pretty good lately.
- Oh, really?
1010
00:49:38,773 --> 00:49:40,642
Well, what is this I hear
about you breaking a rake
1011
00:49:40,675 --> 00:49:43,812
and throwing it into the woods?
- What? I didn't break it.
1012
00:49:43,845 --> 00:49:45,914
I was just testing its durability
1013
00:49:45,947 --> 00:49:47,415
and then I placed it in the woods
1014
00:49:47,449 --> 00:49:49,451
because it's made of wood and I just thought
1015
00:49:49,484 --> 00:49:52,253
it should be with his family.
- Uh-huh.
1016
00:49:52,287 --> 00:49:55,290
At least I didn't punch anybody.
1017
00:49:55,323 --> 00:49:57,692
All right. Okay. We'll go on a date.
1018
00:49:57,725 --> 00:49:59,227
But just as friends, all right?
1019
00:49:59,260 --> 00:50:01,329
Yeah, just as friends. Slow down.
1020
00:50:01,362 --> 00:50:02,831
I don't want to be more than friends.
1021
00:50:02,864 --> 00:50:05,233
I just met you. Woo!
1022
00:50:08,803 --> 00:50:09,771
Fit you okay?
1023
00:50:09,804 --> 00:50:13,274
Yeah, I haven't skated since I was a kid, so...
1024
00:50:15,543 --> 00:50:19,514
Hey, pal, can we get a little time here?
1025
00:50:19,547 --> 00:50:23,151
For Happy Gilmore, anything.
- Thanks.
1026
00:50:25,987 --> 00:50:29,557
You used to play ice hockey?
- Shut up.
1027
00:50:31,292 --> 00:50:35,330
Oh, my God, power failure.
It's getting very scary in here.
1028
00:50:35,363 --> 00:50:37,932
Did you set this up?
- No.
1029
00:50:37,966 --> 00:50:40,268
♫ My endless love ♫
1030
00:50:42,403 --> 00:50:44,839
I thought we were going to be just friends.
1031
00:50:44,873 --> 00:50:45,974
♫ Two hearts ♫
1032
00:50:46,007 --> 00:50:48,843
What? Friends listen
to "Endless Love" in the dark.
1033
00:50:48,877 --> 00:50:53,481
♫ Two hearts that beat as one ♫
1034
00:50:53,515 --> 00:50:57,519
♫ Our love has just begun ♫
1035
00:51:00,021 --> 00:51:03,291
♫ Forever, forever ♫
1036
00:51:03,324 --> 00:51:07,629
This song reminds me of seventh grade.
1037
00:51:07,662 --> 00:51:10,632
This song reminds me of my grandmother.
1038
00:51:10,665 --> 00:51:11,966
That's kind of weird.
1039
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,835
Well, she took me to see this movie.
1040
00:51:13,868 --> 00:51:16,704
I, like, had the biggest
crush on Brooke Shields.
1041
00:51:16,738 --> 00:51:17,906
Really?
- Yeah.
1042
00:51:17,939 --> 00:51:19,274
And my grandmother told me
1043
00:51:19,307 --> 00:51:20,975
I should write her a letter, you know?
1044
00:51:21,009 --> 00:51:23,945
So I did and I got a letter back from Brooke,
1045
00:51:23,978 --> 00:51:25,647
like, two weeks later.
1046
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:29,017
But it was in my grandmother's handwriting.
1047
00:51:29,050 --> 00:51:30,985
Your grandma sounds sweet.
1048
00:51:31,019 --> 00:51:32,587
She is sweet.
1049
00:51:32,620 --> 00:51:34,989
And that's why I feel so terrible.
1050
00:51:35,023 --> 00:51:37,859
Why?
1051
00:51:37,892 --> 00:51:39,994
Oh, no, no, forget it.
1052
00:51:40,028 --> 00:51:43,464
No, no, it's okay, you can tell me.
1053
00:51:43,498 --> 00:51:45,767
Just she's stuck in a damn nursing home.
1054
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,603
The IRS repossessed her house.
1055
00:51:48,636 --> 00:51:50,004
That's awful.
1056
00:51:50,038 --> 00:51:51,739
That's why I joined the tour.
1057
00:51:51,773 --> 00:51:53,741
And I'm pretty close
to getting her house back.
1058
00:51:53,775 --> 00:51:55,743
But, look, don't tell anybody about this.
1059
00:51:55,777 --> 00:51:58,446
I'm kind of embarrassed.
1060
00:51:58,479 --> 00:52:02,016
Don't worry. I won't tell anybody.
1061
00:52:02,050 --> 00:52:03,351
Hey.
1062
00:52:03,384 --> 00:52:05,887
I'll make you a bet.
1063
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:07,755
Do you always carry a puck around?
1064
00:52:07,789 --> 00:52:10,325
Yeah.
1065
00:52:10,358 --> 00:52:12,894
All right, now, if you get that puck
1066
00:52:12,927 --> 00:52:17,999
in that net over there,
I'll never bother you again.
1067
00:52:18,032 --> 00:52:22,470
But if you miss, you got to give me
1068
00:52:22,503 --> 00:52:25,306
a big fat kiss and you got to pretend
1069
00:52:25,340 --> 00:52:27,008
that you like it, too.
1070
00:52:27,041 --> 00:52:28,676
Really?
1071
00:52:28,710 --> 00:52:29,677
Good luck.
1072
00:52:31,813 --> 00:52:34,315
♫ I'll be a fool ♫
1073
00:52:34,349 --> 00:52:36,951
♫ For you ♫
1074
00:52:36,985 --> 00:52:39,587
♫ I'm sure ♫
1075
00:52:43,024 --> 00:52:45,326
Holy shit.
1076
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:49,530
Talk about your all-time backfires.
1077
00:52:49,564 --> 00:52:50,698
Happy...
1078
00:52:53,768 --> 00:52:55,570
I didn't see it go in.
1079
00:52:58,973 --> 00:53:02,577
♫ No one can deny ♫
1080
00:53:02,610 --> 00:53:08,082
♫ This love I have inside ♫
1081
00:53:08,116 --> 00:53:13,354
♫ I'll give it all to you ♫
1082
00:53:13,388 --> 00:53:15,790
♫ My love, my love ♫
1083
00:53:15,823 --> 00:53:17,091
♫ My love ♫
1084
00:53:17,125 --> 00:53:21,429
♫ My endless love ♫
1085
00:53:37,478 --> 00:53:39,514
Announcer: Welcome
to soggy San Francisco,
1086
00:53:39,547 --> 00:53:42,784
the site of this year's Pepsi Pro Am.
1087
00:53:42,817 --> 00:53:45,453
How you doing, Happy? I'm Bob Barker.
1088
00:53:45,486 --> 00:53:47,655
Wow. What an honor. Nice to meet you.
1089
00:53:47,689 --> 00:53:48,990
Looks like you and I are going to be
1090
00:53:49,023 --> 00:53:50,892
playing together today.
1091
00:53:50,925 --> 00:53:53,561
That's funny. Who am I really playing with?
1092
00:53:53,594 --> 00:53:54,862
This is a Pro-Am, Happy.
1093
00:53:54,896 --> 00:53:56,798
Each golfer is playing with a celebrity.
1094
00:53:56,831 --> 00:53:57,932
Wow.
1095
00:53:57,965 --> 00:54:00,535
You know, Nick Faldo and
I won this thing last year.
1096
00:54:00,568 --> 00:54:02,136
And I'd like to win it again this year.
1097
00:54:02,170 --> 00:54:05,039
All right, I'll do my best.
1098
00:54:05,073 --> 00:54:06,874
Hey, Gilmore.
1099
00:54:06,908 --> 00:54:09,410
You suck, you jackass.
1100
00:54:09,444 --> 00:54:11,779
Why don't you shut the hell up?
1101
00:54:13,514 --> 00:54:15,016
I'd love to punch that
guy in the face right now
1102
00:54:15,049 --> 00:54:17,485
but I can't, you know,
because I'd get in trouble.
1103
00:54:17,518 --> 00:54:19,153
I bet you get a lot of that
on "Let's Make A Deal."
1104
00:54:19,187 --> 00:54:21,956
It's "The Price Is Right," Happy.
1105
00:54:21,989 --> 00:54:23,157
Oh yeah, sorry.
1106
00:54:23,191 --> 00:54:25,159
It happens. Let's play some golf.
1107
00:54:25,193 --> 00:54:26,461
Okay.
1108
00:54:31,065 --> 00:54:32,600
Heckler: Jackass.
1109
00:54:34,869 --> 00:54:36,471
Whoa.
1110
00:54:36,504 --> 00:54:39,574
The club went further than the ball.
1111
00:54:39,607 --> 00:54:41,509
What the hell was that all about?
1112
00:54:41,542 --> 00:54:43,544
It's just that, you know, it's rainy
1113
00:54:43,578 --> 00:54:46,681
and that guy and it just slipped.
1114
00:54:53,221 --> 00:54:55,857
Heckler: You're going to need
a blanket and suntan lotion
1115
00:54:55,890 --> 00:54:58,726
because you're never
going to get off that beach
1116
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:02,730
just the way you never got
into the NHL, you jackass.
1117
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:06,834
Whoa.
1118
00:55:09,570 --> 00:55:12,640
The green's that way. You're...
1119
00:55:18,846 --> 00:55:21,849
You will not make this putt, you jackass.
1120
00:55:25,853 --> 00:55:27,822
[Laughing]
1121
00:55:27,855 --> 00:55:31,459
Nice shooting, soldier. [Laughs]
1122
00:55:33,861 --> 00:55:36,197
All right, Happy.
1123
00:55:36,230 --> 00:55:38,466
Nice and easy.
1124
00:55:41,803 --> 00:55:43,271
[Heckler laughs] [crowd groans]
1125
00:55:43,304 --> 00:55:45,873
That was not nice and easy.
1126
00:55:50,178 --> 00:55:52,613
That guy's driving me crazy.
1127
00:55:52,647 --> 00:55:54,182
You know what's driving me crazy?
1128
00:55:54,215 --> 00:55:56,717
You not getting the ball in the hole.
1129
00:55:56,751 --> 00:55:59,620
Don't push me, Bob. Now's not the time.
1130
00:56:04,559 --> 00:56:07,061
Heckler: Jackass!
1131
00:56:07,094 --> 00:56:08,596
[Grunts]
1132
00:56:10,631 --> 00:56:13,134
This guy sucks.
1133
00:56:13,167 --> 00:56:15,736
We haven't seen Happy
Gilmore play this badly
1134
00:56:15,770 --> 00:56:17,638
since his first day on tour.
1135
00:56:17,672 --> 00:56:20,908
He and Bob Barker are now dead last.
1136
00:56:20,942 --> 00:56:23,077
I can't believe you're a professional golfer.
1137
00:56:23,110 --> 00:56:25,613
I think you should be
working at the snack bar.
1138
00:56:25,646 --> 00:56:27,014
You better relax, Bob.
1139
00:56:27,048 --> 00:56:30,151
There is no way that you
could have been this bad
1140
00:56:30,184 --> 00:56:32,019
at hockey as you are at golf.
1141
00:56:32,053 --> 00:56:34,989
All right, let's go.
1142
00:56:35,022 --> 00:56:38,826
Do you like that, old man?
You want a piece of me?
1143
00:56:38,860 --> 00:56:42,864
I don't want a piece of you.
I want the whole thing.
1144
00:56:57,278 --> 00:56:59,780
Now you're going to get it, Bobby.
1145
00:57:18,699 --> 00:57:20,067
Spectator: Happy!
1146
00:57:20,101 --> 00:57:22,670
The price is wrong, bitch.
1147
00:57:33,214 --> 00:57:34,782
I think you've had enough.
1148
00:57:36,217 --> 00:57:37,585
No?
1149
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,290
Now you've had enough.
1150
00:57:42,323 --> 00:57:43,791
Bitch.
1151
00:57:46,394 --> 00:57:47,862
Wow. That couldn't have gone any better.
1152
00:57:47,895 --> 00:57:51,098
Instead of hitting you, he hits Bob Barker.
1153
00:57:51,132 --> 00:57:52,900
Perfect.
- Good, huh?
1154
00:57:52,934 --> 00:57:54,669
So I'll see you at the next tournament, right?
1155
00:57:54,702 --> 00:57:55,803
Oh, no. That won't be necessary.
1156
00:57:55,836 --> 00:57:58,873
This was on national TV. Gilmore is gone.
1157
00:57:58,906 --> 00:58:00,708
Well, look, let's get something to eat.
1158
00:58:00,741 --> 00:58:03,110
There's a Red Lobster nearby. My treat.
1159
00:58:03,144 --> 00:58:04,178
Maybe some other time.
1160
00:58:04,211 --> 00:58:06,814
Shooter, I thought we
were going to be friends.
1161
00:58:06,847 --> 00:58:09,317
Oh, we're friends. We are. I just got to go.
1162
00:58:09,350 --> 00:58:11,385
Okay. Well, I'll be at the Red Lobster
1163
00:58:11,419 --> 00:58:13,921
in case you change your mind, Shooter.
1164
00:58:13,955 --> 00:58:15,723
God bless!
1165
00:58:15,756 --> 00:58:17,058
Oh, there you are.
1166
00:58:17,091 --> 00:58:19,727
Hey, Happy Gilmore. Come on down.
1167
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,830
Thank you, Shooter. Sit down, Mr. Gilmore.
1168
00:58:22,863 --> 00:58:26,834
So you had a fight with a game
show host on national TV.
1169
00:58:26,867 --> 00:58:28,869
I don't consider that entertainment.
1170
00:58:28,903 --> 00:58:30,738
This is not hockey, Mr. Gilmore,
1171
00:58:30,771 --> 00:58:32,373
no matter how much you want it to be.
1172
00:58:32,406 --> 00:58:34,875
I know that. And I'm sorry, okay?
1173
00:58:34,909 --> 00:58:36,944
But it wasn't my fault.
There was some guy out there
1174
00:58:36,978 --> 00:58:38,879
giving me crap and it took every ounce
1175
00:58:38,913 --> 00:58:40,715
of my energy not to hit him.
1176
00:58:40,748 --> 00:58:43,150
So you decided to head-butt Bob Barker?
1177
00:58:43,184 --> 00:58:45,419
Oh, who won that fight anyway?
- That's enough, Shooter.
1178
00:58:45,453 --> 00:58:47,922
Now, the board has
taken the following action.
1179
00:58:47,955 --> 00:58:50,992
You'll be fined $25,000 and
suspended for one month.
1180
00:58:51,025 --> 00:58:52,927
Suspended?
- Suspended? I got to play.
1181
00:58:52,960 --> 00:58:54,862
Doug, kick him off the tour.
1182
00:58:54,895 --> 00:58:57,698
Well, the board thinks
that that might be extreme
1183
00:58:57,732 --> 00:58:59,967
considering the fact that our ratings were
1184
00:59:00,001 --> 00:59:03,170
the highest that we've ever had.
1185
00:59:03,204 --> 00:59:06,340
Doug, look, my grandmother's
house got repossessed.
1186
00:59:06,374 --> 00:59:08,776
If I can't make some prize
money in that next tournament
1187
00:59:08,809 --> 00:59:11,045
they could sell it to somebody else.
1188
00:59:11,078 --> 00:59:12,213
Well, whoopty-do.
1189
00:59:12,246 --> 00:59:13,214
Get out.
1190
00:59:18,486 --> 00:59:20,888
I don't want to hear it. It's over.
1191
00:59:20,921 --> 00:59:23,124
My grandmother's never
going to see her house again.
1192
00:59:23,157 --> 00:59:24,959
Yeah, but you've made a lot of money.
1193
00:59:24,992 --> 00:59:27,328
You could get her a really nice condo.
1194
00:59:27,361 --> 00:59:32,333
My grandfather didn't build
any condos with his bare hands.
1195
00:59:32,366 --> 00:59:34,402
Damn it. I hate that Bob Barker.
1196
00:59:34,435 --> 00:59:38,005
Okay. There has got to be
another way to get the $50,000.
1197
00:59:38,039 --> 00:59:40,374
I don't want to talk
about it anymore, all right?
1198
00:59:40,408 --> 00:59:42,143
I failed, okay?
1199
00:59:42,176 --> 00:59:44,011
Let me just sit here and
enjoy the one thing that
1200
00:59:44,045 --> 00:59:47,948
makes me a little bit happy,
this fresh, delicious,
1201
00:59:47,982 --> 00:59:51,285
tasty, meaty, turkey-filled...
1202
00:59:51,318 --> 00:59:53,254
cold cut combo.
1203
00:59:53,287 --> 00:59:56,490
I eat three every day
to help keep me strong.
1204
00:59:56,524 --> 01:00:00,127
Hey, Happy, can I have one of those?
1205
01:00:00,161 --> 01:00:01,896
Coming right up.
1206
01:00:07,268 --> 01:00:09,503
Talk about a hole in one.
1207
01:00:09,537 --> 01:00:13,974
Announcer: Subway sandwiches
will drive away your hunger.
1208
01:00:14,008 --> 01:00:15,176
What do you think, Grandma Gilmore?
1209
01:00:15,209 --> 01:00:17,478
I love it. And he looks so handsome.
1210
01:00:17,511 --> 01:00:18,979
Aw.
- And it makes me hungry.
1211
01:00:19,013 --> 01:00:21,382
Oh, really? Well, they gave me this card.
1212
01:00:21,415 --> 01:00:22,983
It gives us free Subway for life.
1213
01:00:23,017 --> 01:00:23,884
Oh, that's lovely, dear.
1214
01:00:23,918 --> 01:00:26,520
Lovely. You know what else is lovely?
1215
01:00:26,554 --> 01:00:30,157
That commercial put us up to $275,000.
1216
01:00:30,191 --> 01:00:33,928
Let's go get your house back.
- Oh, Happy.
1217
01:00:42,269 --> 01:00:43,337
What the hell?
1218
01:00:46,574 --> 01:00:49,009
Hey. Hey!
1219
01:00:49,043 --> 01:00:50,544
What's going on here?
1220
01:00:50,578 --> 01:00:52,880
I'm glad you made it. This is very exciting.
1221
01:00:52,913 --> 01:00:54,548
We're going to auction
off your grandmother's house.
1222
01:00:54,582 --> 01:00:56,083
Hey, hold it. You said if we get the money
1223
01:00:56,117 --> 01:00:57,985
by today we could buy the house back.
1224
01:00:58,018 --> 01:01:00,020
Right, you can buy the house back.
1225
01:01:00,054 --> 01:01:01,422
Bidding will start at $100,000.
1226
01:01:01,455 --> 01:01:02,857
100, do I hear the 100?
1227
01:01:02,890 --> 01:01:06,894
This is the exciting part. Have fun.
1228
01:01:06,927 --> 01:01:10,464
Who are these people?
What's going on, Happy?
1229
01:01:10,498 --> 01:01:12,199
175. Thank you. And a two. Two now.
1230
01:01:12,233 --> 01:01:13,934
Oh, my God, they're
auctioning off the house.
1231
01:01:13,968 --> 01:01:14,935
No, no, no. This could be good.
1232
01:01:14,969 --> 01:01:17,104
We'll get the house back
cheaper than we thought.
1233
01:01:17,138 --> 01:01:20,274
250 and 225. Thank you, 50, I have.
1234
01:01:20,307 --> 01:01:22,109
Maybe not. 275!
1235
01:01:22,143 --> 01:01:24,145
I have 275. New bidder in the middle.
1236
01:01:24,178 --> 01:01:27,248
Three now. Three, 350 down front. 375.
1237
01:01:27,281 --> 01:01:30,251
I have 350 down front. 75, 75 anywhere?
1238
01:01:30,284 --> 01:01:32,153
At 350,000 down front.
1239
01:01:32,186 --> 01:01:34,088
Sold. Gentleman with the white sweater.
1240
01:01:34,121 --> 01:01:35,923
What just happened, Happy?
1241
01:01:37,358 --> 01:01:40,060
Go wait in the car, Grandma.
1242
01:01:40,094 --> 01:01:40,961
Hey!
1243
01:01:40,995 --> 01:01:43,264
What the hell is the matter with you?
1244
01:01:43,297 --> 01:01:46,200
Well, real estate
speculation is a hobby of mine.
1245
01:01:46,233 --> 01:01:49,570
Now, you lay another finger
on me, I burn the house down
1246
01:01:49,603 --> 01:01:51,438
and piss on the ashes.
1247
01:01:51,472 --> 01:01:52,907
What do you want for it, Shooter?
1248
01:01:52,940 --> 01:01:54,942
You know what I want.
1249
01:01:54,975 --> 01:01:57,344
You off the tour.
1250
01:01:57,378 --> 01:01:59,647
Quit and the house is yours.
1251
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:01,949
Fine, I quit.
- Oh no, he doesn't.
1252
01:02:01,982 --> 01:02:03,517
Happy, I need to talk to you.
1253
01:02:03,551 --> 01:02:05,352
What, he's a jerk. But he's right.
1254
01:02:05,386 --> 01:02:07,288
I don't belong in this sport.
I'm a hockey player.
1255
01:02:07,321 --> 01:02:09,356
Oh, really? What team do you play for?
1256
01:02:09,390 --> 01:02:11,425
Easy.
- Face it, Happy.
1257
01:02:11,458 --> 01:02:13,994
You are a golfer.
1258
01:02:14,028 --> 01:02:16,463
Look, I did this so I could
get Grandma's house back.
1259
01:02:16,497 --> 01:02:18,666
Now I can. No regrets.
1260
01:02:18,699 --> 01:02:20,367
What do you think Grandma wants more?
1261
01:02:20,401 --> 01:02:26,106
To get her house back or
to see her grandson succeed?
1262
01:02:26,140 --> 01:02:28,576
Yeah, maybe there's
a way she can have both.
1263
01:02:28,609 --> 01:02:30,311
Hey, Shooter.
- Yeah.
1264
01:02:30,344 --> 01:02:32,012
Tour championship's next week, right?
1265
01:02:32,046 --> 01:02:33,280
That's right.
1266
01:02:33,314 --> 01:02:35,950
If I beat you, I get the house back.
1267
01:02:35,983 --> 01:02:37,117
You beat me, I'll quit.
1268
01:02:37,151 --> 01:02:40,387
You're going to beat me? At golf?
1269
01:02:40,421 --> 01:02:41,922
[Laughing]
1270
01:02:41,956 --> 01:02:44,258
Oh, you're on.
1271
01:02:44,291 --> 01:02:45,259
You're in big trouble, though, pal.
1272
01:02:45,292 --> 01:02:48,062
I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
1273
01:02:48,095 --> 01:02:50,297
You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
1274
01:02:52,333 --> 01:02:53,400
No.
1275
01:02:58,339 --> 01:02:59,573
That was great.
1276
01:02:59,607 --> 01:03:01,575
I know you are going to kick his ass.
1277
01:03:01,609 --> 01:03:03,577
Yeah, well, that makes one of us.
1278
01:03:03,611 --> 01:03:05,479
All right, look, take care of Grandma.
1279
01:03:05,512 --> 01:03:07,948
I can walk from here.
- Wait, where are you going?
1280
01:03:07,982 --> 01:03:09,917
I got to learn how to play golf.
1281
01:03:12,186 --> 01:03:15,489
I'm stupid, you're smart.
1282
01:03:15,522 --> 01:03:18,192
I was wrong, you were right.
1283
01:03:18,225 --> 01:03:21,128
You're the best, I'm the worst.
1284
01:03:21,161 --> 01:03:24,531
You're very good looking, I'm not attractive.
1285
01:03:24,565 --> 01:03:28,569
All right, as long as you're
willing to admit that.
1286
01:03:28,602 --> 01:03:31,705
Now, are you ready to get
down to business and do exactly
1287
01:03:31,739 --> 01:03:35,709
what I tell you to do?
- Believe me, I'm ready.
1288
01:03:35,743 --> 01:03:38,712
Then let's get to work.
- All right.
1289
01:03:38,746 --> 01:03:41,148
Oh, I'm sorry.
1290
01:03:41,181 --> 01:03:43,050
Here.
1291
01:03:43,083 --> 01:03:44,451
Here's your pinky.
1292
01:03:47,721 --> 01:03:49,957
[Laughing]
1293
01:03:51,258 --> 01:03:53,761
Hey, Happy Land, just like me.
1294
01:03:53,794 --> 01:03:59,166
Don't get excited yet.
I've been here before.
1295
01:03:59,199 --> 01:04:02,369
Oh, this is embarrassing.
I'm a professional golfer,
1296
01:04:02,403 --> 01:04:03,404
for God's sake.
1297
01:04:03,437 --> 01:04:06,106
No, it's your short
game that's embarrassing.
1298
01:04:06,140 --> 01:04:07,374
Come on, let's go.
1299
01:04:13,781 --> 01:04:16,216
[Brakes screeching] [car crashes]
1300
01:04:16,250 --> 01:04:17,751
♫ It's time for a happy day ♫
1301
01:04:17,785 --> 01:04:20,154
♫ I said it's time for a happy day ♫
1302
01:04:20,187 --> 01:04:21,088
♫ It's time for a happy day ♫
1303
01:04:21,121 --> 01:04:24,091
Okay, this time just line up your putt.
1304
01:04:24,124 --> 01:04:26,293
Don't even look at the hole, huh?
1305
01:04:26,327 --> 01:04:29,096
Aim for a spot six inches in front of the hole.
1306
01:04:29,129 --> 01:04:31,165
Line up a spot six inches in front of the hole.
1307
01:04:31,198 --> 01:04:34,568
Okay. Six inches.
- Yes.
1308
01:04:37,738 --> 01:04:39,673
♫ Let's take today for fun, happy day ♫
1309
01:04:39,707 --> 01:04:41,675
♫ Good times for everyone ♫
1310
01:04:41,709 --> 01:04:43,577
♫ Let's take today for fun ♫
1311
01:04:43,610 --> 01:04:46,113
♫ Good times for everyone ♫
1312
01:04:46,146 --> 01:04:47,781
♫ Let's take today for fun, happy day ♫
1313
01:04:47,815 --> 01:04:50,050
♫ Good times for everyone ♫
1314
01:04:50,084 --> 01:04:52,052
♫ Let's take today for fun ♫
1315
01:04:52,086 --> 01:04:54,121
♫ Good times for everyone ♫
1316
01:04:54,154 --> 01:04:56,056
♫ Let's take today for fun, happy day ♫
1317
01:04:56,090 --> 01:04:58,292
All right. This one's very tough.
1318
01:05:00,794 --> 01:05:01,862
[Laughing]
1319
01:05:01,895 --> 01:05:04,665
Ha, ha, ha. He's laughing.
He's having a good time.
1320
01:05:04,698 --> 01:05:07,368
Good for you, yeah.
Laugh it up. Enjoy your night.
1321
01:05:07,401 --> 01:05:10,437
Ha, ha, ha.
- Come on, Happy, concentrate.
1322
01:05:14,475 --> 01:05:17,478
[Laughing]
1323
01:05:17,511 --> 01:05:19,279
I hate that clown.
1324
01:05:19,313 --> 01:05:20,180
Easy.
1325
01:05:20,214 --> 01:05:21,849
If you can't beat the clown,
1326
01:05:21,882 --> 01:05:24,051
how you going to beat Shooter McGavin?
1327
01:05:29,590 --> 01:05:31,291
Yeah!
1328
01:05:31,325 --> 01:05:34,161
[Laughing] You're going to die, clown!
1329
01:05:35,729 --> 01:05:38,832
You think that's funny?
I don't hear you laughing now!
1330
01:05:38,866 --> 01:05:40,667
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Enough, enough.
1331
01:05:40,701 --> 01:05:42,736
What? I can't do it!
1332
01:05:42,770 --> 01:05:46,340
Come with me, Happy. Come on!
1333
01:05:46,373 --> 01:05:48,342
You suck, you stupid clown.
- Come on.
1334
01:05:50,811 --> 01:05:52,579
Remember, now, this isn't hockey.
1335
01:05:52,613 --> 01:05:57,384
You don't play with raw emotion.
You can't putt angry.
1336
01:05:57,418 --> 01:05:59,653
You have to clear
your mind of everything else
1337
01:05:59,686 --> 01:06:01,522
and stay focused.
1338
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:07,861
Now, how the hell am I going to do that?
1339
01:06:07,895 --> 01:06:11,698
Think of a place that's really perfect.
1340
01:06:11,732 --> 01:06:14,201
Your own happy place.
1341
01:06:14,234 --> 01:06:17,771
Go there and all
your anger will just disappear.
1342
01:06:17,805 --> 01:06:19,773
Then putt.
1343
01:06:19,807 --> 01:06:21,475
Happy place.
1344
01:06:21,508 --> 01:06:25,579
Happy place. Your happy place.
1345
01:06:55,275 --> 01:06:56,376
Now, how do you feel?
1346
01:06:56,410 --> 01:06:59,346
Better.
- Now, putt.
1347
01:07:19,700 --> 01:07:22,236
Yeah!
- Yeah!
1348
01:07:22,269 --> 01:07:23,437
Your happy place.
1349
01:07:24,938 --> 01:07:26,940
♫ Good times for everyone ♫
1350
01:07:26,974 --> 01:07:28,275
♫ Let's take today for fun ♫
1351
01:07:28,308 --> 01:07:29,409
♫ Happy day ♫
1352
01:07:29,443 --> 01:07:33,780
You really took some giant
steps out there tonight.
1353
01:07:33,814 --> 01:07:35,449
I'm really proud of you.
1354
01:07:35,482 --> 01:07:36,550
Thanks.
1355
01:07:36,583 --> 01:07:37,951
So, here.
1356
01:07:37,985 --> 01:07:40,754
Got something really special for you here.
1357
01:07:40,787 --> 01:07:42,956
Oh, wow. Thanks.
- See that?
1358
01:07:42,990 --> 01:07:45,592
That is the same putter I used when I played.
1359
01:07:45,626 --> 01:07:50,697
Slightly modified of course.
- Man, this is excellent.
1360
01:07:50,731 --> 01:07:53,500
Oh, you got the spirit
of a hockey player in you, Happy.
1361
01:07:53,534 --> 01:07:55,903
So I figured why fight it, huh?
1362
01:07:55,936 --> 01:07:57,771
Oh, I got something for you, too, pal.
1363
01:07:57,804 --> 01:07:59,273
What?
1364
01:07:59,306 --> 01:08:00,908
Yeah, I mean, I figured if it wasn't for you,
1365
01:08:00,941 --> 01:08:02,476
none of this would have happened, right?
1366
01:08:02,509 --> 01:08:04,478
So I want to show my appreciation.
1367
01:08:06,747 --> 01:08:08,348
Ha ha ha!
1368
01:08:08,382 --> 01:08:10,617
Oh, this looks nice. What is it?
1369
01:08:10,651 --> 01:08:11,652
Open it up.
1370
01:08:13,620 --> 01:08:14,521
Oh, man.
1371
01:08:14,555 --> 01:08:16,890
Remember the gator that got your hand?
1372
01:08:16,924 --> 01:08:19,226
I got his head.
1373
01:08:21,495 --> 01:08:22,729
Chubbs!
1374
01:08:22,763 --> 01:08:23,697
Chubbs!
1375
01:08:23,730 --> 01:08:26,233
[Body hits ground] [wooden hand bouncing]
1376
01:08:31,505 --> 01:08:34,508
First my dad and now Chubbs.
1377
01:08:34,541 --> 01:08:36,944
Anybody I get close to dies.
1378
01:08:36,977 --> 01:08:37,911
If I were you, I'd run.
1379
01:08:37,945 --> 01:08:41,315
No, no, you can't blame yourself for this.
1380
01:08:41,348 --> 01:08:44,851
I guess that alligator
finally finished the job, huh?
1381
01:08:44,885 --> 01:08:46,787
I'm going to miss you, pal.
1382
01:08:55,095 --> 01:08:56,763
I don't know how the hell
I'm going to play today.
1383
01:08:56,797 --> 01:08:58,999
Look, just remember
everything that he taught you.
1384
01:08:59,032 --> 01:09:01,501
Congratulations, murderer.
1385
01:09:01,535 --> 01:09:02,836
You killed a golf legend.
1386
01:09:02,869 --> 01:09:05,939
Beat it, McGavin.
- You know what I'm going to do?
1387
01:09:05,973 --> 01:09:06,873
I'm going to dedicate my performance
1388
01:09:06,907 --> 01:09:09,409
at the tour championship
to Chubb's memory.
1389
01:09:09,443 --> 01:09:11,478
To hell with that. I'm playing for Chubbs.
1390
01:09:11,511 --> 01:09:13,680
Nuh-uh, I called it first.
- You--
1391
01:09:13,714 --> 01:09:15,515
Hey, hey, hey. You want to beat him?
1392
01:09:15,549 --> 01:09:17,384
Beat him on the course.
1393
01:09:17,417 --> 01:09:18,652
That's right. I'm going to beat your ass
1394
01:09:18,685 --> 01:09:20,988
on the course.
- Yeah, right.
1395
01:09:21,021 --> 01:09:22,522
Grizzly Adams had a beard.
1396
01:09:22,556 --> 01:09:24,591
Grizzly Adams did have a beard.
1397
01:09:26,927 --> 01:09:29,796
Verne Lundquist: The golfers
of the tour championship
1398
01:09:29,830 --> 01:09:31,398
are ready to hit the links.
1399
01:09:31,431 --> 01:09:33,967
There may be 63
professionals vying for the title
1400
01:09:34,001 --> 01:09:35,836
of world's best, but in the minds
1401
01:09:35,869 --> 01:09:38,839
of the spectators, there are really only two.
1402
01:09:38,872 --> 01:09:42,576
Tour kingpin Shooter McGavin
and bad boy Happy Gilmore
1403
01:09:42,609 --> 01:09:44,811
fresh off his recent suspension.
1404
01:09:44,845 --> 01:09:47,714
And wouldn't you know it,
they've been paired together.
1405
01:09:47,748 --> 01:09:50,484
I've got some very
interesting interior design ideas
1406
01:09:50,517 --> 01:09:51,785
for Grandma's house.
1407
01:09:51,818 --> 01:09:54,388
You know that bedroom
at the top of the stairs?
1408
01:09:54,421 --> 01:09:56,423
Yeah. That was my room.
1409
01:09:56,456 --> 01:09:58,725
I think I'm turning that
into my trophy room.
1410
01:10:00,060 --> 01:10:01,561
It's perfect.
1411
01:10:05,465 --> 01:10:06,700
[Applause]
1412
01:10:11,872 --> 01:10:14,808
Just may not be big enough.
1413
01:10:14,841 --> 01:10:16,343
All right.
1414
01:10:23,650 --> 01:10:25,419
[Cheering]
1415
01:10:29,790 --> 01:10:31,692
You know what the pathetic thing is?
1416
01:10:31,725 --> 01:10:33,894
You've been playing golf your whole life.
1417
01:10:38,732 --> 01:10:41,401
Let me show you how we do it in the pros.
1418
01:10:45,172 --> 01:10:46,473
[Applause]
1419
01:10:48,208 --> 01:10:49,743
Jeez, that's got to hurt.
1420
01:10:56,216 --> 01:10:58,118
[Cheering]
- Ooh.
1421
01:10:58,151 --> 01:11:01,855
Happy learned how to putt. Uh-oh.
1422
01:11:03,857 --> 01:11:05,525
Here's a free lesson.
1423
01:11:10,163 --> 01:11:11,698
[Applause]
1424
01:11:11,732 --> 01:11:13,667
Can't learn that in a hockey rink.
1425
01:11:20,540 --> 01:11:22,809
[Crowd chatter]
1426
01:11:22,843 --> 01:11:24,511
[cheering]
1427
01:11:24,544 --> 01:11:28,615
Somebody's closer.
1428
01:11:29,750 --> 01:11:32,519
After one day,
Shooter McGavin is in the lead.
1429
01:11:32,552 --> 01:11:36,556
But the big surprise is young Happy Gilmore
1430
01:11:36,590 --> 01:11:41,528
nipping at his heels and
trailing by only one stroke.
1431
01:11:41,561 --> 01:11:44,164
Shooter from the sand playing like he really
1432
01:11:44,197 --> 01:11:45,699
wants that jacket.
1433
01:11:51,772 --> 01:11:54,641
Happy Gilmore answers
right back with a birdie.
1434
01:12:01,248 --> 01:12:02,783
[Cheering]
1435
01:12:07,921 --> 01:12:11,057
Happy with a long eagle opportunity.
1436
01:12:13,059 --> 01:12:14,995
It's good!
1437
01:12:15,028 --> 01:12:17,497
And Shooter can't believe it.
1438
01:12:17,531 --> 01:12:20,700
He is now tied with Happy Gilmore.
1439
01:12:23,737 --> 01:12:26,740
Uh-oh, a little too much zip on that one.
1440
01:12:28,108 --> 01:12:31,178
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
1441
01:12:31,211 --> 01:12:33,079
No!
1442
01:12:33,113 --> 01:12:34,881
[Cheering]
1443
01:12:36,850 --> 01:12:38,585
I didn't see it. Did that go in?
1444
01:12:38,618 --> 01:12:41,121
Because I wasn't watching.
Did it go in the hole?
1445
01:12:41,154 --> 01:12:42,088
I wasn't watching.
1446
01:12:42,122 --> 01:12:44,524
I know I saw it go up. Did it come back in?
1447
01:12:44,558 --> 01:12:45,792
All right.
1448
01:12:45,826 --> 01:12:49,596
At the end of the third day,
Happy Gilmore has taken the lead
1449
01:12:49,629 --> 01:12:51,298
and Jack, one can't help but be impressed
1450
01:12:51,331 --> 01:12:53,767
with the vast improvement
in his short game.
1451
01:13:13,153 --> 01:13:15,055
Hey, Donald. Shooter.
1452
01:13:15,088 --> 01:13:18,024
Shooter! Hey, it's great to hear from you.
1453
01:13:18,058 --> 01:13:20,627
Do you want to go
to the Sizzler and get some grub?
1454
01:13:20,660 --> 01:13:22,629
No thanks, pal, not hungry.
1455
01:13:22,662 --> 01:13:25,098
Listen, this call's about business.
1456
01:13:25,131 --> 01:13:26,933
I need you here in the morning.
1457
01:13:26,967 --> 01:13:29,636
Well, it's the final day
of the tour championship
1458
01:13:29,669 --> 01:13:32,305
and it's shaping up to be quite a classic.
1459
01:13:32,339 --> 01:13:34,708
Happy Gilmore leads the pack.
1460
01:13:34,741 --> 01:13:36,576
Could there be a changing of the guard?
1461
01:13:36,610 --> 01:13:39,679
We'll know in 18 short holes.
1462
01:13:41,348 --> 01:13:42,782
[Crowd cheers]
1463
01:13:45,252 --> 01:13:48,088
Oh, Happy is really on today.
1464
01:13:53,226 --> 01:13:55,195
Fan 1: Happy, New Jersey loves you!
1465
01:13:55,228 --> 01:13:56,363
Fan 2: Pittsburgh loves you!
1466
01:13:56,396 --> 01:13:57,864
Fan 3: My sister loves you!
1467
01:14:01,201 --> 01:14:04,070
There he is. That worm.
1468
01:14:04,104 --> 01:14:06,873
Happy, look out! Oh!
1469
01:14:11,711 --> 01:14:15,315
Happy. Happy, you okay?
- Volkswagen.
1470
01:14:15,348 --> 01:14:17,784
Jackass!
1471
01:14:25,325 --> 01:14:26,626
Oh, my God.
1472
01:14:32,332 --> 01:14:34,634
[Laughs] Jackass!
- There he is.
1473
01:14:34,668 --> 01:14:37,671
You're a little banged up,
but no serious injuries.
1474
01:14:37,704 --> 01:14:39,306
Just keep off your feet for a few days.
1475
01:14:39,339 --> 01:14:41,241
To hell with that. I got to finish up.
1476
01:14:41,274 --> 01:14:42,876
Fine. Do whatever you like.
1477
01:14:42,909 --> 01:14:44,377
What would I know? I'm just a doctor.
1478
01:14:44,411 --> 01:14:45,412
Hey, you going to be all right?
1479
01:14:45,445 --> 01:14:46,513
I'm fine.
1480
01:14:46,546 --> 01:14:49,816
Happy, there is no shame
in throwing in the towel.
1481
01:14:49,849 --> 01:14:51,718
When it comes to your health
you can't be too cautious.
1482
01:14:51,751 --> 01:14:54,955
Let's just play some golf.
1483
01:14:54,988 --> 01:14:57,757
Verne: I knew Happy Gilmore
was tough, but I can't believe
1484
01:14:57,791 --> 01:15:00,727
he's going to keep playing
after being hit by that car.
1485
01:15:00,760 --> 01:15:02,996
Let's hope it doesn't affect his game.
1486
01:15:05,031 --> 01:15:06,800
Ah! My shoulder.
1487
01:15:06,833 --> 01:15:08,835
Verne: Oh my. That's the first time
1488
01:15:08,868 --> 01:15:10,704
he's failed to outdrive Shooter McGavin.
1489
01:15:10,737 --> 01:15:12,439
Well, well, well. Happy Gilmore
1490
01:15:12,472 --> 01:15:15,709
is human after all.
1491
01:15:15,742 --> 01:15:17,844
Happy Gilmore is in big trouble, Jack.
1492
01:15:17,877 --> 01:15:19,946
He's lost the power to hit the long ball.
1493
01:15:19,980 --> 01:15:22,048
If he's going to have any
chance of winning today
1494
01:15:22,082 --> 01:15:24,851
he's got to get it done on the green.
1495
01:15:28,989 --> 01:15:32,959
Oh. He's really got to focus now.
1496
01:15:32,993 --> 01:15:35,662
He's got to save this one for par.
1497
01:15:38,398 --> 01:15:39,432
Oh, my!
1498
01:15:39,466 --> 01:15:41,701
That bogie drops him out of the lead.
1499
01:15:41,735 --> 01:15:43,169
If he wants to stay in this thing,
1500
01:15:43,203 --> 01:15:46,072
he has to calm down and sink some putts.
1501
01:15:50,377 --> 01:15:51,678
[Crowd groans]
1502
01:15:52,912 --> 01:15:54,347
Don't worry about your grandma, Gilmore.
1503
01:15:54,381 --> 01:15:56,883
She can live with me. Be my maid.
1504
01:16:03,023 --> 01:16:05,225
Verne: Look at the cabbage he's in now.
1505
01:16:05,258 --> 01:16:09,129
Things just keep getting
worse for Happy Gilmore.
1506
01:16:11,931 --> 01:16:14,801
All right. Just remember what Chubb's said.
1507
01:16:14,834 --> 01:16:19,906
Go to a happy place. Go to a happy place.
1508
01:16:55,542 --> 01:16:57,110
Oh!
1509
01:16:57,143 --> 01:16:58,778
God!
1510
01:17:01,147 --> 01:17:02,248
[Crowd groaning]
1511
01:17:11,157 --> 01:17:13,793
Verne: Oh, this looks
like the end for Happy Gilmore.
1512
01:17:13,827 --> 01:17:16,296
Shooter now has a commanding lead.
1513
01:17:26,106 --> 01:17:28,007
[Crowd groans]
1514
01:17:31,845 --> 01:17:33,780
[crowd chatter]
1515
01:17:35,048 --> 01:17:38,017
Happy. Happy, look who's here.
1516
01:17:38,051 --> 01:17:39,986
Grandma.
1517
01:17:40,019 --> 01:17:43,022
Happy, you look upset. What's wrong?
1518
01:17:43,056 --> 01:17:45,291
I don't know what to say.
I stink. I'm not going to win.
1519
01:17:45,325 --> 01:17:49,529
That's all right, sweetheart.
A house isn't important.
1520
01:17:49,562 --> 01:17:51,297
It's just a house.
1521
01:17:51,331 --> 01:17:53,566
Stop fraternizing with the help, Gilmore.
1522
01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:57,170
Just hit your ball if you can find it.
1523
01:17:57,203 --> 01:17:59,439
Hi, Grandma!
1524
01:17:59,472 --> 01:18:01,207
Forget him.
1525
01:18:01,241 --> 01:18:03,977
I just want you to be happy, darling.
1526
01:18:05,945 --> 01:18:07,914
All right, Grandma.
1527
01:18:14,387 --> 01:18:17,123
Grandma wants me to be happy.
1528
01:18:38,545 --> 01:18:42,348
Shut up, Happy. Don't feel bad about me.
1529
01:18:42,382 --> 01:18:46,352
I got my hand back. See?
1530
01:18:46,386 --> 01:18:51,357
♫ We've only just begun ♫
1531
01:18:51,391 --> 01:18:55,495
♫ To live ♫
1532
01:18:55,528 --> 01:19:00,366
♫ White lace and promises ♫
1533
01:19:00,400 --> 01:19:05,972
♫ A kiss for luck and we're on our way ♫
1534
01:19:10,210 --> 01:19:11,411
[cheering]
1535
01:19:14,547 --> 01:19:16,249
It ain't over yet, McGavin.
1536
01:19:16,282 --> 01:19:19,152
The way I see it, we've only just begun.
1537
01:19:46,512 --> 01:19:48,147
Happy, the gold jacket's yours.
1538
01:19:48,181 --> 01:19:49,916
Shooter's going to choke!
1539
01:19:55,321 --> 01:19:56,289
Unbelievable.
1540
01:20:08,701 --> 01:20:11,037
Damn you, people! This is golf!
1541
01:20:11,070 --> 01:20:13,606
Not a rock concert!
1542
01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:15,008
[Crowd booing]
1543
01:20:20,179 --> 01:20:21,381
Putt!
1544
01:20:25,451 --> 01:20:26,352
Yeah!
1545
01:20:34,260 --> 01:20:35,461
Ooh!
1546
01:20:35,495 --> 01:20:37,263
[Yodels]
1547
01:20:40,366 --> 01:20:42,201
Happy...
1548
01:20:42,235 --> 01:20:43,503
rules!
1549
01:20:57,216 --> 01:21:00,086
Happy Gilmore has really
charged in the back nine.
1550
01:21:00,119 --> 01:21:02,722
He's now dead even with Shooter McGavin.
1551
01:21:02,755 --> 01:21:04,290
And if Shooter doesn't get himself
1552
01:21:04,324 --> 01:21:07,327
out of his current funk
he's in, he may yet again
1553
01:21:07,360 --> 01:21:08,494
miss out on the gold jacket.
1554
01:21:08,528 --> 01:21:11,731
Ladies and gentlemen,
the 18th hole is a par three,
1555
01:21:11,764 --> 01:21:13,499
160 yards.
1556
01:21:13,533 --> 01:21:16,736
In the event of a tie there will
be a sudden death playoff.
1557
01:21:16,769 --> 01:21:19,105
Mr. Gilmore, you have the honors.
1558
01:21:20,573 --> 01:21:22,709
No matter what,
I got to admit, I'm having fun.
1559
01:21:22,742 --> 01:21:25,645
Happy Gilmore, you're
starting to sound like a golfer.
1560
01:21:25,678 --> 01:21:27,547
I know. Keep it down.
1561
01:21:46,466 --> 01:21:49,702
Verne: Oh, nice shot. Right at the pin.
1562
01:21:49,736 --> 01:21:52,038
15 feet short of the hole.
1563
01:21:58,444 --> 01:22:00,179
[Crowd laughs]
1564
01:22:03,182 --> 01:22:04,283
Verne: Shooter's ball is in the woods
1565
01:22:04,317 --> 01:22:07,453
and Happy is on the 18th
green, where earlier a car
1566
01:22:07,487 --> 01:22:10,590
driven by a crazed fan rammed the TV tower.
1567
01:22:13,860 --> 01:22:15,328
Excuse me. I just got to get through.
1568
01:22:15,361 --> 01:22:18,331
I'm looking for my ball. This is golf, okay?
1569
01:22:18,364 --> 01:22:21,100
Excuse me. Thank you. Thank you.
1570
01:22:26,606 --> 01:22:28,574
Is this your ball?
1571
01:22:28,608 --> 01:22:29,876
Yes, it is.
1572
01:22:29,909 --> 01:22:32,712
It struck my foot.
1573
01:22:32,745 --> 01:22:35,181
Doug! Doug.
1574
01:22:35,214 --> 01:22:37,183
Can I get a drop?
1575
01:22:37,216 --> 01:22:41,120
Oh, the rule says play it as it lies.
1576
01:22:56,903 --> 01:22:58,504
[Crowd oohs]
1577
01:23:03,342 --> 01:23:05,745
That's two thus far, Shooter.
1578
01:23:05,778 --> 01:23:07,680
Oh, you can count. Good for you.
1579
01:23:07,713 --> 01:23:11,250
And you can count on me waiting for you
1580
01:23:11,284 --> 01:23:12,485
in the parking lot.
1581
01:23:12,518 --> 01:23:13,686
[Crowd oohs]
1582
01:23:15,388 --> 01:23:17,490
Spectator: Run, Shooter. Run for your life.
1583
01:23:18,658 --> 01:23:20,126
[Applause]
1584
01:23:26,265 --> 01:23:27,533
Looks like you're still away.
1585
01:23:27,567 --> 01:23:29,702
Yeah, I'm aware of that. Thank you.
1586
01:23:31,270 --> 01:23:33,339
Man, I can't see.
- Up there.
1587
01:23:46,686 --> 01:23:49,355
Verne: Shooter needs this
to keep the pressure on Gilmore.
1588
01:23:49,388 --> 01:23:53,159
If he misses, Happy can
two-putt his way to victory.
1589
01:23:58,264 --> 01:23:59,765
Get in that hole.
1590
01:23:59,799 --> 01:24:01,167
Yes!
1591
01:24:03,302 --> 01:24:04,704
Choke on that, baby!
1592
01:24:07,740 --> 01:24:09,175
Ba-boom!
1593
01:24:12,478 --> 01:24:13,379
Yes!
1594
01:24:14,814 --> 01:24:16,282
Shooter!
1595
01:24:24,490 --> 01:24:28,761
Verne: If Gilmore can sink this,
it will cap an amazing comeback.
1596
01:24:28,794 --> 01:24:30,563
[Metal creaking]
1597
01:24:36,903 --> 01:24:38,738
[screaming]
1598
01:24:46,345 --> 01:24:47,880
Great, now I have a stinking tower
1599
01:24:47,914 --> 01:24:48,948
blocking my ball.
1600
01:24:48,981 --> 01:24:50,716
Don't worry about it.
We'll get this cleaned up
1601
01:24:50,750 --> 01:24:52,885
and you'll finish tomorrow, right, Doug?
1602
01:24:52,919 --> 01:24:55,288
No, no, he has to hit it now.
1603
01:24:55,321 --> 01:24:57,356
He has to play the ball as it lies.
1604
01:24:57,390 --> 01:25:00,459
No. I did it off Frankenstein's
fat foot, remember?
1605
01:25:00,493 --> 01:25:02,328
Those are the rules. I didn't write them.
1606
01:25:02,361 --> 01:25:05,865
I'm afraid he's right.
Take a shot, Mr. Gilmore.
1607
01:25:05,898 --> 01:25:08,367
Oh, and Virginia,
in case you were wondering,
1608
01:25:08,401 --> 01:25:10,903
my jacket size is 44 long and my right arm's
1609
01:25:10,937 --> 01:25:13,573
just a little longer than my left.
1610
01:25:13,606 --> 01:25:16,342
Happy, hit it around the tower,
1611
01:25:16,375 --> 01:25:18,744
sink your putt, and we'll go to sudden death.
1612
01:25:18,778 --> 01:25:20,346
Hmm.
1613
01:25:25,885 --> 01:25:27,787
Nah, I'll just beat him now.
1614
01:25:29,655 --> 01:25:30,556
Good luck.
1615
01:25:35,795 --> 01:25:38,464
Chubbs, I know you're
going to help me with this one.
1616
01:26:14,133 --> 01:26:16,402
Oh, my God!
1617
01:26:16,435 --> 01:26:20,840
Verne: Incredible, Happy
Gilmore wins the gold jacket!
1618
01:26:23,843 --> 01:26:25,578
I love you.
1619
01:26:25,611 --> 01:26:26,946
I love you.
1620
01:26:26,979 --> 01:26:29,081
And I love you!
1621
01:26:29,115 --> 01:26:33,686
It's impossible. That's my jacket!
1622
01:26:33,719 --> 01:26:35,354
It's mine.
1623
01:26:35,388 --> 01:26:37,623
Hey, he stole my jacket!
1624
01:26:37,657 --> 01:26:39,859
I believe that's Mr. Gilmore's.
1625
01:26:56,942 --> 01:26:59,345
[Growls]
1626
01:27:02,081 --> 01:27:04,817
I will get you, Shooter!
1627
01:27:04,850 --> 01:27:06,118
[Crowd yelling]
1628
01:27:06,152 --> 01:27:07,720
[Shooter screaming and getting punched]
1629
01:27:07,753 --> 01:27:10,523
Shooter: Get off! Get off me!
Mr. Larson: Stay still!
1630
01:27:10,556 --> 01:27:13,659
[Shooter screaming]
1631
01:27:13,693 --> 01:27:18,597
♫♪♪♫
1632
01:27:24,637 --> 01:27:26,672
You coming?
- You bet.
1633
01:27:26,706 --> 01:27:28,407
All right.
1634
01:27:41,454 --> 01:27:43,923
Here's to Chubbs, wherever he is.
1635
01:27:47,727 --> 01:27:49,562
Hey, Happy.
1636
01:27:51,797 --> 01:27:52,832
Nice jacket.
1637
01:27:55,201 --> 01:27:57,970
Who are you waving at, Happy?
1638
01:27:59,672 --> 01:28:02,675
Nobody, Grandma. Let's go home.
1639
01:28:03,809 --> 01:28:06,812
♫♫
1640
01:28:48,254 --> 01:28:51,590
♫♪♪♫
1641
01:29:01,000 --> 01:29:04,870
♫ Oh, ho, ho, it's magic ♫
1642
01:29:04,904 --> 01:29:08,007
♫ You know ♫
1643
01:29:08,040 --> 01:29:12,044
♫ Never believe it's not so ♫
1644
01:29:12,077 --> 01:29:14,580
♫ It's magic ♫
1645
01:29:14,613 --> 01:29:17,616
♫ You know ♫
1646
01:29:17,650 --> 01:29:22,021
♫ Never believe it's not so ♫
1647
01:29:25,024 --> 01:29:27,193
♫ Never been awake ♫
1648
01:29:27,226 --> 01:29:29,595
♫ Never seen a day break ♫
1649
01:29:29,628 --> 01:29:34,200
♫ Leaning on my pillow in the morning ♫
1650
01:29:34,233 --> 01:29:36,902
♫ Lazy day in bed ♫
1651
01:29:36,936 --> 01:29:38,704
♫ Music in my head ♫
1652
01:29:38,737 --> 01:29:44,910
♫ Crazy music playing
in the morning light ♫
1653
01:29:46,345 --> 01:29:50,282
♫ Oh, ho, ho, its magic ♫
1654
01:29:50,316 --> 01:29:53,185
♫ You know ♫
1655
01:29:53,219 --> 01:29:57,122
♫ Never believe it's not so ♫
1656
01:29:57,156 --> 01:29:59,925
♫ It's magic ♫
1657
01:29:59,959 --> 01:30:02,628
♫ You know ♫
1658
01:30:02,661 --> 01:30:07,566
♫ Never believe it's not so ♫
1659
01:30:09,735 --> 01:30:11,637
♫ I love a sunny day ♫
1660
01:30:11,670 --> 01:30:14,240
♫ Dream of far away ♫
1661
01:30:14,273 --> 01:30:18,944
♫ Dreaming on my pillow
in the morning ♫
1662
01:30:18,978 --> 01:30:21,146
♫ Never been awake ♫
1663
01:30:21,180 --> 01:30:23,349
♫ Never seen a day break ♫
1664
01:30:23,382 --> 01:30:30,689
♫ Leaning on my pillow
in the morning light ♫
1665
01:30:30,723 --> 01:30:34,326
♫ Oh, ho, ho, it's magic ♫
1666
01:30:34,360 --> 01:30:37,596
♫ You know ♫
1667
01:30:37,630 --> 01:30:42,067
♫ Never believe it's not so ♫
1668
01:30:42,101 --> 01:30:44,303
♫ It's magic ♫
1669
01:30:44,336 --> 01:30:46,872
♫ You know ♫
1670
01:30:46,906 --> 01:30:50,776
♫ Never believe it's not so ♫
1671
01:31:15,334 --> 01:31:19,204
♫ Oh, ho, ho, it's magic ♫
1672
01:31:19,238 --> 01:31:21,874
♫ You know ♫
1673
01:31:21,907 --> 01:31:26,679
♫ Never believe it's not so ♫
1674
01:31:26,712 --> 01:31:29,014
♫ It's magic ♫
1675
01:31:29,048 --> 01:31:31,250
♫ You know ♫
1676
01:31:31,283 --> 01:31:35,955
♫ Never believe it's not so ♫